{ "archive_path": "archive/1779991652.645346", "base_url": "stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism", "basename": "the-cost-of-safetyism", "bookmarked_date": "2026-05-28 18:07", "canonical": { "archive_org_path": "https://web.archive.org/web/stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism", "dom_path": "output.html", "favicon_path": "favicon.ico", "git_path": "git/", "google_favicon_path": "https://www.google.com/s2/favicons?domain=stevemagness.substack.com", "headers_path": "headers.json", "htmltotext_path": "htmltotext.txt", "index_path": "index.html", "media_path": "media/", "mercury_path": "mercury/content.html", "pdf_path": "output.pdf", "readability_path": "readability/content.html", "screenshot_path": "screenshot.png", "singlefile_path": "singlefile.html", "warc_path": "warc/", "wget_path": null }, "domain": "stevemagness.substack.com", "downloaded_at": "2026-05-28T18:07:38.242739+00:00", "downloaded_datestr": "2026-05-28 18:07", "extension": "", "hash": "7FMWYMESFA2BG49A2ZD9", "history": { "archive_org": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/bin/curl", "--silent", "--location", "--compressed", "--proxy", "socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--head", "--max-time", "60", "--user-agent", "Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)", "https://web.archive.org/save/https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "8.10.1", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:09:04.472033+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "https://web.archive.org/web/20260528180843/https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:35.870281+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "dom": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/bin/chromium-browser", "--proxy-server=socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--disable-features=DarkMode", "--run-all-compositor-stages-before-draw", "--hide-scrollbars", "--autoplay-policy=no-user-gesture-required", "--no-first-run", "--use-fake-ui-for-media-stream", "--use-fake-device-for-media-stream", "--simulate-outdated-no-au='Tue, 31 Dec 2099 23:59:59 GMT'", "--headless=new", "--no-sandbox", "--no-zygote", "--disable-dev-shm-usage", "--disable-software-rasterizer", "--disable-sync", "--window-size=1440,2000", "--user-agent=Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)", "--user-data-dir=/data/personas/Default/chrome_profile", "--profile-directory=Default", "--dump-dom", "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "131.0.6778", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:10.598781+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "output.html", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:07:50.866127+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "favicon": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/bin/curl", "--silent", "--location", "--compressed", "--proxy", "socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--max-time", "60", "--output", "favicon.ico", "--user-agent", "Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)", "https://www.google.com/s2/favicons?domain=stevemagness.substack.com" ], "cmd_version": "8.10.1", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:07:42.483153+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "favicon.ico", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:07:38.531390+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "git": [], "headers": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/bin/curl", "--silent", "--location", "--compressed", "--proxy", "socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--head", "--max-time", "60", "--user-agent", "Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)", "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "8.10.1", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:07:42.738370+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "headers.json", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:07:42.557864+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "htmltotext": [ { "cmd": [ "(internal) archivebox.extractors.htmltotext", "./{singlefile,dom}.html" ], "cmd_version": "0.8.5rc51", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:30.947390+00:00", "index_texts": [ "(https://substackcdn.com) The Cost of Safetyism - Steve Magness (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/theme/main.8091e218024559de3058.css) (https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/spectral/v13/rnCr-xNNww_2s0amA9M5knjsS_ul.woff2) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/382.659a39b6.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/56938.bc21f918.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/54636.1791a1b4.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/82434.46ea0d79.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/79293.f3788219.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/11578.b2640fd5.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/81892.996eb14a.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/68132.96f82f6a.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/9162.29564af8.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/87828.7a04f79c.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/96815.b430fbb8.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/8992.7745251c.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/1874.1744a76b.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/3466.6568f1ac.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/3466.6568f1ac.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/1874.1744a76b.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/8992.7745251c.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/87828.7a04f79c.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/9162.29564af8.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/68132.96f82f6a.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/81892.996eb14a.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/11578.b2640fd5.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/79293.f3788219.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/82434.46ea0d79.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/54636.1791a1b4.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/44676.813be60f.css) (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) (https://substackcdn.com/icons/substack/favicon.ico) (https://substackcdn.com/icons/substack/icon.svg) (https://substackcdn.com/icons/substack/apple-touch-icon.png) (/feed) (Steve Magness) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/theme/main.8091e218024559de3058.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/async/62434.85b3e3a8.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/async/58911.2028d23f.css) (https://substackcdn.com/bundle/static/css/async/33149.8db3c09e.css) (/) Steve Magness Subscribe Sign in (Close) (User) (User's avatar) Discover more from Steve Magness How to perform and live better, while chasing on excellence in all of your endeavors. From the author of Do Hard Things. Over 14,000 subscribers (Enter your email...) Subscribe By subscribing, you agree Substack's (https://substack.com/tos) Terms of Use , and acknowledge its (https://substack.com/ccpa#personal-data-collected) Information Collection Notice and (https://substack.com/privacy) Privacy Policy . Already have an account? Sign in The Cost of Safetyism What we lost when we stopped letting kids leave the front yard. (https://substack.com/@stevemagness) (Steve Magness) (Steve Magness's avatar) (https://substack.com/@stevemagness) Steve Magness May 19, 2026 132 20 27 Share When I was 11 and 12, I\u2019d ride my bike to meet friends at the local sandlot baseball field 1.5 miles away, or to a friends house to go play pickup football in the street. When I was 14, I\u2019d go on 10+ mile runs, exploring every bit of road, sidewalk, and path I could find. Exploration was a rite of passage. Today, 84% of 11 year olds aren\u2019t allowed to leave their street, with 53% not even allowed to leave their front yard. For 14 year olds? 92% aren\u2019t allowed to leave their neighborhood, and 55% can\u2019t leave their streets. In England (https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/sites/default/files/files/7350_PSI_Report_CIM_final.pdf) data shows that in 1971, 86% of primary-age children traveled home from school unaccompanied. By 1990, that had fallen to 35%. By 2010, it was 25%. What in the world happened? Why are we so afraid to let kids explore? There\u2019s a temptation to read this as a story about phones, screen time, or modern danger. It isn\u2019t. It\u2019s a story about us. The parents, coaches, and grownups who decided, somewhere in the last two decades, that the right amount of freedom for a 10-year-old is to be visible from the kitchen window. We told ourselves we were keeping them safe. We were doing something else. (https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!2Yyd!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F59a0bef3-f41d-43c2-9ed3-c448bd363e00_1892x1778.png) () Why the World Shrank When I tell people these numbers, the usual response is some version of \u201cthe world is more dangerous now.\u201d It certainly feels that way. The only problem is that all of the data we have shows it\u2019s much safer than when you or I were wandering the streets. Violent crime against children has fallen steadily since the early 1990s. Stranger abductions, the thing every parent imagines when they hesitate to let a 10-year-old walk to a friend\u2019s house, were rare in 1985 and are rarer today. The world didn\u2019t get more dangerous. We got more afraid. In the 1970s, professor of communication George Gerbner coined a term for a similar phenomenon\u2011 mean world syndrome . Gerbner found that we tend to see the world as more dangerous and threatening than it is and that it was related to the overabundance of violence on TV. A 2008 (https://www.jstor.org/stable/27568366) study found that media exposure explains why Americans, in particular, often see the rest of the world as dangerous. Other research shows a link between the amount of crime reported on the news and the degree of fear people have over crime. It\u2019s not just worry. News consumption is (https://www.researchgate.net/publication/248988950_The_Relation_Between_Crime_News_and_Fear_of_Violence) related to avoidance behavior as a way to deal with the fear of violent crime. It\u2019s not just traditional media that plays a role. A recent (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0011128720922539) analysis found that social media consumption is linked to an increased fear of street violence. When we are inundated with a message that the world is threatening, we start to believe it. The difference between the era I grew up in and today is that we weren\u2019t constantly pinged with notifications of crimes by the neighborhood app or local facebook group every day. These notifications make it feel like crime is abundant and happening right next door. It makes sense that our brains are primed for thinking that if our kids wander too far they\u2019ll get abducted. They\u2019re working off the information they have. A (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12889-025-21848-8) 2025 study backs this up, a fear of \u201cstranger danger\u201d more than doubled the likelihood of risk-averse parenting and keeping your kids contained to near the house. We\u2019ve got a perception-reality gap that is hard to close because it involves our most precious cargo. But it\u2019s not all just in our head. Depending on where you live, cars, traffic, and more distracted people staring at their phones while driving has certainly risen. That\u2019s a legitimate and structural concern. We absolutely need better urban design, more parks, sidewalks, etc. But the major problem is that it\u2019s not just people not letting their kids out of the front yard because of fear of cars, it\u2019s that nearly all behaviors related to autonomy of kids are down. From making their lunches to walking down a different aisle of a store, to not being able to use a knife, have all declined. We\u2019ve not only taken away more \u201chigh-stakes\u201d independence like walking in the neighborhood but also (https://jyd.pitt.edu/ojs/jyd/article/view/416) low-stakes tasks , which signals a much larger problem than just fear of abduction or cars. Again, much of it is in response to a environment that punishes parents for giving kids autonomy. A 2023 study found that state laws are all over the place and often disconnected from what the best science says is age appropriate. For example, Maryland law effectively says no child should be alone before the age of 8. While Minnesota allows 6 year olds to be unsupervised. There is no consistent national standard, and most laws have no developmental rationale. And this leads to another legitimate fear. No one wants to be reported to child protective services. And it happens at an astonishing rate. According to (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27997240/) a 2017 study , approximately 38% of all children will be investigated by CPS by the time they are 18. And the majority of those cases aren't about abuse. They're about supervisory neglect, children being somewhere without an adult. Which ties into another thing preventing parents from lengthening the leash, judgment of others. If there\u2019s one thing that\u2019s skyrocketed over the last few decades it\u2019s certainly judgment. With social media and other outlets, we walk around criticizing any and everyone. According to some recent data, 25% of parents admitted they had personally criticized another parent for not adequately supervising their child. So a quarter of parents are walking around as the enforcement mechanism. While (https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1337531/full) research published in 2024 found that \u201cintensive parenting attitude\u201d produces stress, anxiety, depression, and guilt in mothers. We feel guilty when we aren\u2019t always on, always there. We feel like bad mothers and fathers. The feeling creates anxiety and that anxiety pushes us towards over-protecting. And we\u2019re well aware of it. In fact, we want better. We just don\u2019t follow through. In a (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2023/10/231016163128.htm) survey of parents of 5-11 year olds, four out of five parents actually agreed that unsupervised free time is good for kids. They wanted more of it. But in practice: Only 50% would let a 9-11 year old find an item at the store while they shopped in another aisle Only 15% would let them trick-or-treat without an adult Only 20% of 5-8 year olds prepare their own snack The top reported fear was that \u201csomeone might scare or follow\u201d the child And the kicker is that it largely wasn\u2019t about actual danger, as only 17% reported that they lived in a neighborhood that was unsafe. The researchers concluded that parents \u201cmay be unintentionally restricting their child\u2019s path to independence.\u201d They want to let go. They just can\u2019t. The Consequences of Safetyism We live in a culture of safetyism. And it\u2019s largely an English speaking phenomenon. These same views aren\u2019t held in other countries. For example, (https://www.einnews.com/pr_news/629774197/children-are-ready-for-independence-much-younger-than-they-re-legally-allowed-it-study-finds) a 2023 study found that while English-speaking parents generally expect kids to handle some independence around 9 or 10, Japanese and Kenyan parents expect that same level of independence at 5 or 6. Similarly, in an international study that looked at 7 to 15 year old children across 16 different countries they found that most english-speaking countries were in the lowest autonomy tier (12th- Ireland, 13th- Australia, 16th- South Africa). Americans weren\u2019t surveyed, but countries like Finland, Germany, Norway, Sweden, Japan, and Denmark scored the highest on autonomy. For example, in Finland, the majority of 7 year olds are routinely allowed to walk or bike alone. And by 8, the majority of kids cross main roads, commute to school, and navigate their neighborhoods unaccompanied. Once again, part of this is structural, with easy access to bikes and such, and we should absolutely address that. But increasingly, the data points to a large part of this being the safetyism that has taken hold in places like America. Safety is preventative. It\u2019s the impulse to prevent every possible discomfort, fall, or bruise. It's making sure that there aren't monkey bars at a playground so that no one can fall. It's providing trigger warnings, so that people can walk out instead of face being uncomfortable in the classroom. Safetyism provides the illusion of security. It has the appearance of care, but in reality, it\u2019s avoidance. We confuse safety with security, and they aren\u2019t the same thing. Security is something different. It\u2019s having the knowledge that if you fall, someone you trust will help you get back up. It\u2019s the idea of knowing that if you make a mistake in the office, you should let others know so that you can improve the processes, instead of hiding it away for fear of losing your job. Security gives you a base to explore from. Safety builds walls. The strange thing is that the more we choose safety over security, the less of either we get. A (https://doi.org/10.1177/21677026231186625) 2024 meta-analysis on trigger warnings found that they make no difference at best, and at worst they increase anxiety, because our predictive brain prepares for the disaster we just got warned about. Watch what happens at recess when adults always step in to mediate. Children stop learning how to resolve their own arguments. Watch what happens when a parent always rescues a child from a hard math problem. The child stops trying, learning that mom or dad is there to save them. It\u2019s part of the reason (along with phones, social media, etc.) that we\u2019ve had such an alarming surge in youth mental health issues. According to the CDC 40% of US high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in 2023, up significantly from earlier data. Suicide among children under 15 rose 3.5-fold between 1950 and 2005, then another 2.4-fold by 2020. A (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10964-019-01070-7) 2020 longitudinal study followed 500 adolescents from age 12 through 19. The teens whose parents stayed at persistently elevated levels of psychological control across those seven years showed measurably worse trajectories of both depression and anxiety. A 2 (https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/development-and-psychopathology/article/overparenting-and-offspring-depression-anxiety-and-internalizing-symptoms-a-metaanalysis/B082A2A6FCB065BC9B5168B1EE8E5163) 024 meta-analysis of 52 studies on overparenting confirmed the pattern: across cultures and income levels, overparenting predicts higher rates of depression, anxiety, and internalizing symptoms in offspring. When we eliminate the small discomforts that build emotional regulation, we don't make kids safer. We make them more anxious. It\u2019s why Peter Gray and colleagues writing in the Journal of Pediatrics concluded, \u201cA primary cause of the rise in mental disorders is a decline over decades in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam, and engage in other activities independent of direct oversight and control by adults.\u201d The Power of Freedom Early in my high school coaching career, I learned a hard lesson that stuck with me. It was easy to get someone to finish a workout while I was standing there watching them. I could get 14 year old freshman to do lots of mile repeats or go on a 10 mile run if I, as the coach, was running with them. But what ultimately mattered and determined their success is what they did when I wasn\u2019t. Did they do their runs over the summer when we didn\u2019t have practice, or run the whole way instead of walking and taking shortcuts when we ran at the local park. That\u2019s what mattered. And research shows that when we use a leadership style where control by the coach is the key, kids work hard while you\u2019re there, but don\u2019t when you aren\u2019t working. On the other hand, autonomy supportive coaching, where you lengthen the leash and empower agency does. It increases intrinsic motivation, self-belief, confidence, and even resilience. That\u2019s because our body and brain were meant to be stressed appropriately. Just like a muscle needs to feel the strain of lifting a weight or running a mile to adapt and grow, humans need exposure to just manageable risks, peer conflict, and personal discomfort to properly wire our executive function and build cognitive resilience. Pickup games are the lab where children practice being human. Research shows kids learn to solve conflict and disagreements on the sandlot or at recess. Playgrounds are where kids learn to take appropriate risks for their current capabilities. They don\u2019t know if they can climb the wall, hang on the monkey bars, or what not until they try. When we replace the sandlot with the travel league, we replace the curriculum with a script. The coach picks the teams, calls balls and strikes, intervenes during any conflict. We learn to outsource everything. The thousand small acts of judgment that built emotional regulation in previous generations have been quietly handed back to the grownups. Similarly, when we\u2019re never given the chance to bike to our friends house, walk to school, or explore the world around us, we\u2019ve created an artificially small world. Not only, do we never develop our internal spatial awareness, but we ingrain a mental model that says the outside world is dangerous and we are not capable of navigating it. We never learn to make risk-assessments ourselves. And as we are learning, an appropriate assessment of risks, rewards, and our capabilities is how our brain decides whether to work hard and give effort or not. If our brain is convinced everything is risky, we default to \u201cwhy try mode.\u201d By completely removing unsupervised exploration, we\u2019ve inadvertently denied kids the raw material required to overcome normal developmental anxieties. The things that helped develop self-regulation, conflict resolution, an internal locus of control\u2026are gone. It\u2019s as if we took everyone in school and said, use AI to solve all of your work because doing math, staring at a blank page to write, or giving a speech are too uncomfortable. Sure, we might complete the assignments and they\u2019ll have the appearance of doing math, writing an essay, and so forth\u2026but there\u2019s zero learning going on. By stepping in to eliminate all minor discomforts and physical risks, parents disrupt the child\u2019s capacity to learn through physical trial and error. In many ways, we\u2019ve systematically engineered learned helplessness. Lengthening the Leash In my coaching work, I tell every athlete the same thing on day one: my goal is to make myself kind of obsolete. I\u2019m trying to coach them toward independence, not dependence. That doesn\u2019t mean I disappear or check out. It means I gradually give away control, in small bites, until the athlete is the one steering the ship. My role slowly shifts to guide, mentor, or even a co-pilot on the journey. In order to get there, you have to gradually give away responsibility and choice. Sure, it may start out that you dictate the workouts precisely. But over time, you ask and collaborate more (What do you think? What would you do?). You hand over decision making. At first, it might be something simple, do you think you can do one or two more reps? But over time, you provide more responsibility and autonomy. Those are the ingredients that build self-reliance, toughness, and a sense of agency. The late Kobe Bryant put it well, when watching his daughters basketball practice, and there was a parent on the sidelines encouraging and yelling at their daughter with things like \u201cDig deep!\u201c After practice, Bryant pulled that parent aside and said, \u201cWhen she\u2019s doing those line drills, don\u2019t say anything. Because there\u2019s a conversation that\u2019s happening inside her head. She\u2019s talking to herself pumping herself up to do it. So for an outside voice to come in to give her guidance and the push to keep going actually interrupts her process. Let her be. Let her figure it out herself.\u201d Parenting works the same way. If we\u2019re always the person dictating and controlling, it might look and feel like the right thing in the moment. But too often we\u2019re preventing them from developing the exact skills that allow them to thrive when we\u2019re not there. So of course we need to fix the structural elements to allow our kids to roam. Of course, we want violence and danger to be low and should be aware of the safety of the area we\u2019re in. And of course, a 5 year old is going to have a different leash length than a 10 or even 15 year old. But\u2026 we\u2019ve got to let them navigate discomfort, to feel bored, to face conflict, to wander. Those are the building blocks of confidence, resilience, self-determination, and emotional regulation. I think about this when I watch my own daughters. Every instinct in me wants to fix the small problem before it becomes a hard one. As a person with OCD, there\u2019s always a tinge of fear of what will happen when our oldest reaches for those monkey bars or climbs the rock wall that I\u2019m not quite sure if she can handle yet. Part of my brain is always screaming \u201cDanger! Intervene!\u201d But just like I learned with OCD, not every feeling or thought needs power. Some we have to sit with it, realize that the world isn\u2019t on fire and that we aren\u2019t going to die. And eventually, that thought quiets down to its rightful level. Every parent I know has similar instincts. We aren\u2019t bad parents. We\u2019re just living in a world that has conditioned us to be afraid. But the kindest thing I can do, the thing that will actually make my daughters resilient, is to let the small problems happen. To let her negotiate the friendship I could fix in one phone call. To let her ride further than I\u2019m comfortable with. To gradually, appropriately lengthen that leash. -Steve Magness For more, you might like my piece on (https://substack.com/home/post/p-193482441) The Hidden Costs of Comfort or my books: (https://amzn.to/4tPWERF) Do Hard Things and (https://amzn.to/4tMli5w) Win the Inside Game . In a sea of nonsense, help good stuff reach others, please share: (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share) Share I write about performing and living well. If you enjoyed this piece, consider subscribing: (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) () (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) () (subscribe-widget-preamble) (Type your email...) Subscribe (https://substack.com/profile/84611613-haydizzle) (Haydizzle) (Haydizzle's avatar) (https://substack.com/profile/77317691-andrew) (Andrew) (Andrew's avatar) (https://substack.com/profile/444617364-aleksei) (Aleksei) (Aleksei's avatar) (https://substack.com/profile/446372672-chess) (Chess) (Chess's avatar) (https://substack.com/profile/1627996-henry-abbott) (Henry Abbott) (Henry Abbott's avatar) 132 Likes \u2219(https://substack.com/note/p-197502889/restacks?utm_source=substack&utm_content=facepile-restacks) 27 Restacks 132 20 27 Share Previous Next Discussion about this post Comments Restacks (User) (User's avatar) (Write a comment...) (https://substack.com/profile/1627996-henry-abbott?utm_source=comment) (Henry Abbott) (Henry Abbott's avatar) (https://substack.com/profile/1627996-henry-abbott?utm_source=substack-feed-item) Henry Abbott (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism/comment/261505161) (May 19, 2026, 11:11 AM) May 19 Liked by Steve Magness Steve thank you for this. In writing Ballistic, I came across so much research that makes me think this issue right here is incredibly powerful, maybe the key step in making adults who are more likely to enjoy health and happiness. Ballistic is about a lab in California called P3 that collects granular movement data of elite athletes. They have assessed more than a thousand NBA players, who fit into seven movement categories. One group they call \"kinematic movers.\" They're generally not the fastest, highest jumping, nor tallest generally. But they have great careers because they're neurologically superior at things like landing and cutting, which leads to successful careers and special injury avoidance. This is how we all want to move! This is what P3 trains! And what they find is that when you ask kinematic movers how they grew up, they ALL say they had lots of unsupervised free time in youth. Movement functions like language in the brain, and unsupervised free play is the full immersion learning program. To me it's just like kids who grow up in Quito learn better Spanish then people learning in a classroom in Sacramento. Moving in practice isn't diverse nor constant enough. Kids need to move freely and all the time--seeking fun!--to get the neurological tools to be super fluent. And of course it matters that is essentially the same prescription in Jonathan Haidt's work about preventing anxiety. One definition of anxiety that I love is \"the feeling you don't have the right tool for the job.\" To me, unsupervised free play makes sense as a masterclass in gaining all kinds of tools, including social tools. Like (8) Reply Share (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism/comment/261505161) 1 reply by Steve Magness (https://substack.com/profile/439457964-fernando-garcia-baro?utm_source=comment) (Fernando Garc\u00eda-Bar\u00f3) (Fernando Garc\u00eda-Bar\u00f3's avatar) (https://substack.com/profile/439457964-fernando-garcia-baro?utm_source=substack-feed-item) Fernando Garc\u00eda-Bar\u00f3 (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism/comment/261627581) (May 19, 2026, 3:12 PM) May 19 Liked by Steve Magness I am from Spain and I can tell you that we have the same problem over there. Our oldest son is three and we've decided that we're not going to behave the way we see around us, but society makes us feel bad for letting our kid run away with his scooter on the street or for being behind us without us glancing back every other second. I used to work at a small international school in the Swiss Alps and whenever I had to supervise recess, I would feel very frustrated. The children had learnt that, at the very first sign of conflict with another child, they should just shout: \"teacher, help!\" We removed the ability to solve problems by always sticking our noses where they don't belong. As the seventh and youngest of my family, I can tell you my parents wouldn't (and couldn't) mix themselves in all our little battles, and that's precisely what gave me the autonomy to go study abroad at the age of 18 and to become a professional musician. In an interview with Dr. Rangan Chaterjee, Johann Hari asked him: \"How many things did you do when you were a child that you don't allow your own kids to do now?\" And Charterjee's answer was: \"Oh my god, guilty as charged!\" Like (6) Reply Share (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism/comments) 18 more comments... Top Latest Discussions (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-hidden-cost-of-comfort) The Hidden Cost of Comfort (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-hidden-cost-of-comfort) We Padded the World And Nobody Can Feel Anything Anymore Apr 9 \u2022 (https://substack.com/@stevemagness) Steve Magness 4,603 144 766 () (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-debate-over-easy-vs-high-intensity) The Debate Over Easy vs. High-Intensity Training is a Waste of Time. Here's Why. (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-debate-over-easy-vs-high-intensity) Zone 2, HIIT, and the Flawed Science of Endurance Training Jul 5, 2025 \u2022 (https://substack.com/@stevemagness) Steve Magness 216 15 14 () (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-2-hour-barrier-has-been-smashed) The 2 hour barrier has been smashed. (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-2-hour-barrier-has-been-smashed) Mind blowing performances at the London Marathon Apr 26 \u2022 (https://substack.com/@stevemagness) Steve Magness 230 21 18 () See all Ready for more? (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) () (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) (https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism) () (subscribe_footer) (Type your email...) Subscribe \u00a9 2026 Steve Magness \u00b7 (https://substack.com/privacy) Privacy \u2219 (https://substack.com/tos) Terms \u2219 (https://substack.com/ccpa#personal-data-collected) Collection notice (https://substack.com/signup?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=footer) Start your Substack (https://substack.com/app/app-store-redirect?utm_campaign=app-marketing&utm_content=web-footer-button) Get the app (https://substack.com) Substack is the home for great culture Cookie Policy We use cookies to improve your experience, for analytics, and for marketing. You can accept, reject, or manage your preferences. See our (https://substack.com/tos) privacy policy . Manage Reject Accept This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please (https://enable-javascript.com/) turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts " ], "output": "htmltotext.txt", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:30.892854+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "media": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/local/bin/yt-dlp", "--restrict-filenames", "--trim-filenames", "128", "--write-description", "--write-info-json", "--write-annotations", "--write-thumbnail", "--no-call-home", "--write-sub", "--write-auto-subs", "--convert-subs=srt", "--yes-playlist", "--continue", "--no-abort-on-error", "--ignore-errors", "--geo-bypass", "--add-metadata", "--format=(bv*+ba/b)[filesize<=750m][filesize_approx<=?750m]/(bv*+ba/b)", "--skip-download", "--cache-dir=/data/yt-dlp-cache/", "--cookies=/data/yt-dlp-cache/cookies.txt", "--proxy=socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--no-playlist", "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "2024.10.7", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:35.815670+00:00", "index_texts": [], "output": "ArchiveError: Failed to save media", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:32.815454+00:00", "status": "failed" } ], "mercury": [ { "cmd": [ "/home/archivebox/.npm/bin/postlight-parser", "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "2.2.3", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:30.860130+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "mercury/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:26.697114+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "pdf": [], "readability": [ { "cmd": [ "/home/archivebox/.npm/bin/readability-extractor", "/tmp/tmp4wrppi4q", "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "0.0.11", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:16.473225+00:00", "index_texts": [ "When I was 11 and 12, I\u2019d ride my bike to meet friends at the local sandlot baseball field 1.5 miles away, or to a friends house to go play pickup football in the street. When I was 14, I\u2019d go on 10+ mile runs, exploring every bit of road, sidewalk, and path I could find. Exploration was a rite of passage.Today, 84% of 11 year olds aren\u2019t allowed to leave their street, with 53% not even allowed to leave their front yard. For 14 year olds? 92% aren\u2019t allowed to leave their neighborhood, and 55% can\u2019t leave their streets.In England data shows that in 1971, 86% of primary-age children traveled home from school unaccompanied. By 1990, that had fallen to 35%. By 2010, it was 25%.What in the world happened? Why are we so afraid to let kids explore?There\u2019s a temptation to read this as a story about phones, screen time, or modern danger. It isn\u2019t. It\u2019s a story about us. The parents, coaches, and grownups who decided, somewhere in the last two decades, that the right amount of freedom for a 10-year-old is to be visible from the kitchen window.We told ourselves we were keeping them safe. We were doing something else.When I tell people these numbers, the usual response is some version of \u201cthe world is more dangerous now.\u201d It certainly feels that way. The only problem is that all of the data we have shows it\u2019s much safer than when you or I were wandering the streets. Violent crime against children has fallen steadily since the early 1990s. Stranger abductions, the thing every parent imagines when they hesitate to let a 10-year-old walk to a friend\u2019s house, were rare in 1985 and are rarer today.The world didn\u2019t get more dangerous. We got more afraid.In the 1970s, professor of communication George Gerbner coined a term for a similar phenomenon\u2011mean world syndrome. Gerbner found that we tend to see the world as more dangerous and threatening than it is and that it was related to the overabundance of violence on TV.A 2008 study found that media exposure explains why Americans, in particular, often see the rest of the world as dangerous. Other research shows a link between the amount of crime reported on the news and the degree of fear people have over crime. It\u2019s not just worry. News consumption is related to avoidance behavior as a way to deal with the fear of violent crime. It\u2019s not just traditional media that plays a role. A recent analysis found that social media consumption is linked to an increased fear of street violence.When we are inundated with a message that the world is threatening, we start to believe it. The difference between the era I grew up in and today is that we weren\u2019t constantly pinged with notifications of crimes by the neighborhood app or local facebook group every day. These notifications make it feel like crime is abundant and happening right next door. It makes sense that our brains are primed for thinking that if our kids wander too far they\u2019ll get abducted. They\u2019re working off the information they have.A 2025 study backs this up, a fear of \u201cstranger danger\u201d more than doubled the likelihood of risk-averse parenting and keeping your kids contained to near the house. We\u2019ve got a perception-reality gap that is hard to close because it involves our most precious cargo.But it\u2019s not all just in our head. Depending on where you live, cars, traffic, and more distracted people staring at their phones while driving has certainly risen. That\u2019s a legitimate and structural concern. We absolutely need better urban design, more parks, sidewalks, etc. But the major problem is that it\u2019s not just people not letting their kids out of the front yard because of fear of cars, it\u2019s that nearly all behaviors related to autonomy of kids are down. From making their lunches to walking down a different aisle of a store, to not being able to use a knife, have all declined. We\u2019ve not only taken away more \u201chigh-stakes\u201d independence like walking in the neighborhood but also low-stakes tasks, which signals a much larger problem than just fear of abduction or cars.Again, much of it is in response to a environment that punishes parents for giving kids autonomy. A 2023 study found that state laws are all over the place and often disconnected from what the best science says is age appropriate. For example, Maryland law effectively says no child should be alone before the age of 8. While Minnesota allows 6 year olds to be unsupervised. There is no consistent national standard, and most laws have no developmental rationale.And this leads to another legitimate fear. No one wants to be reported to child protective services. And it happens at an astonishing rate. According to a 2017 study, approximately 38% of all children will be investigated by CPS by the time they are 18. And the majority of those cases aren't about abuse. They're about supervisory neglect, children being somewhere without an adult.Which ties into another thing preventing parents from lengthening the leash, judgment of others. If there\u2019s one thing that\u2019s skyrocketed over the last few decades it\u2019s certainly judgment. With social media and other outlets, we walk around criticizing any and everyone. According to some recent data, 25% of parents admitted they had personally criticized another parent for not adequately supervising their child. So a quarter of parents are walking around as the enforcement mechanism.While research published in 2024 found that \u201cintensive parenting attitude\u201d produces stress, anxiety, depression, and guilt in mothers. We feel guilty when we aren\u2019t always on, always there. We feel like bad mothers and fathers. The feeling creates anxiety and that anxiety pushes us towards over-protecting. And we\u2019re well aware of it. In fact, we want better. We just don\u2019t follow through.In a survey of parents of 5-11 year olds, four out of five parents actually agreed that unsupervised free time is good for kids. They wanted more of it. But in practice:Only 50% would let a 9-11 year old find an item at the store while they shopped in another aisleOnly 15% would let them trick-or-treat without an adultOnly 20% of 5-8 year olds prepare their own snackThe top reported fear was that \u201csomeone might scare or follow\u201d the childAnd the kicker is that it largely wasn\u2019t about actual danger, as only 17% reported that they lived in a neighborhood that was unsafe. The researchers concluded that parents \u201cmay be unintentionally restricting their child\u2019s path to independence.\u201d They want to let go. They just can\u2019t.The Consequences of SafetyismWe live in a culture of safetyism. And it\u2019s largely an English speaking phenomenon. These same views aren\u2019t held in other countries. For example, a 2023 study found that while English-speaking parents generally expect kids to handle some independence around 9 or 10, Japanese and Kenyan parents expect that same level of independence at 5 or 6.Similarly, in an international study that looked at 7 to 15 year old children across 16 different countries they found that most english-speaking countries were in the lowest autonomy tier (12th- Ireland, 13th- Australia, 16th- South Africa). Americans weren\u2019t surveyed, but countries like Finland, Germany, Norway, Sweden, Japan, and Denmark scored the highest on autonomy. For example, in Finland, the majority of 7 year olds are routinely allowed to walk or bike alone. And by 8, the majority of kids cross main roads, commute to school, and navigate their neighborhoods unaccompanied.Once again, part of this is structural, with easy access to bikes and such, and we should absolutely address that. But increasingly, the data points to a large part of this being the safetyism that has taken hold in places like America.Safety is preventative. It\u2019s the impulse to prevent every possible discomfort, fall, or bruise. It's making sure that there aren't monkey bars at a playground so that no one can fall. It's providing trigger warnings, so that people can walk out instead of face being uncomfortable in the classroom. Safetyism provides the illusion of security. It has the appearance of care, but in reality, it\u2019s avoidance.We confuse safety with security, and they aren\u2019t the same thing.Security is something different. It\u2019s having the knowledge that if you fall, someone you trust will help you get back up. It\u2019s the idea of knowing that if you make a mistake in the office, you should let others know so that you can improve the processes, instead of hiding it away for fear of losing your job. Security gives you a base to explore from. Safety builds walls.The strange thing is that the more we choose safety over security, the less of either we get. A 2024 meta-analysis on trigger warnings found that they make no difference at best, and at worst they increase anxiety, because our predictive brain prepares for the disaster we just got warned about. Watch what happens at recess when adults always step in to mediate. Children stop learning how to resolve their own arguments. Watch what happens when a parent always rescues a child from a hard math problem. The child stops trying, learning that mom or dad is there to save them.It\u2019s part of the reason (along with phones, social media, etc.) that we\u2019ve had such an alarming surge in youth mental health issues. According to the CDC 40% of US high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in 2023, up significantly from earlier data. Suicide among children under 15 rose 3.5-fold between 1950 and 2005, then another 2.4-fold by 2020.A 2020 longitudinal study followed 500 adolescents from age 12 through 19. The teens whose parents stayed at persistently elevated levels of psychological control across those seven years showed measurably worse trajectories of both depression and anxiety. A 2024 meta-analysis of 52 studies on overparenting confirmed the pattern: across cultures and income levels, overparenting predicts higher rates of depression, anxiety, and internalizing symptoms in offspring. When we eliminate the small discomforts that build emotional regulation, we don't make kids safer. We make them more anxious.It\u2019s why Peter Gray and colleagues writing in the Journal of Pediatrics concluded, \u201cA primary cause of the rise in mental disorders is a decline over decades in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam, and engage in other activities independent of direct oversight and control by adults.\u201dThe Power of FreedomEarly in my high school coaching career, I learned a hard lesson that stuck with me. It was easy to get someone to finish a workout while I was standing there watching them. I could get 14 year old freshman to do lots of mile repeats or go on a 10 mile run if I, as the coach, was running with them. But what ultimately mattered and determined their success is what they did when I wasn\u2019t. Did they do their runs over the summer when we didn\u2019t have practice, or run the whole way instead of walking and taking shortcuts when we ran at the local park. That\u2019s what mattered.And research shows that when we use a leadership style where control by the coach is the key, kids work hard while you\u2019re there, but don\u2019t when you aren\u2019t working. On the other hand, autonomy supportive coaching, where you lengthen the leash and empower agency does. It increases intrinsic motivation, self-belief, confidence, and even resilience.That\u2019s because our body and brain were meant to be stressed appropriately. Just like a muscle needs to feel the strain of lifting a weight or running a mile to adapt and grow, humans need exposure to just manageable risks, peer conflict, and personal discomfort to properly wire our executive function and build cognitive resilience.Pickup games are the lab where children practice being human. Research shows kids learn to solve conflict and disagreements on the sandlot or at recess. Playgrounds are where kids learn to take appropriate risks for their current capabilities. They don\u2019t know if they can climb the wall, hang on the monkey bars, or what not until they try.When we replace the sandlot with the travel league, we replace the curriculum with a script. The coach picks the teams, calls balls and strikes, intervenes during any conflict. We learn to outsource everything. The thousand small acts of judgment that built emotional regulation in previous generations have been quietly handed back to the grownups.Similarly, when we\u2019re never given the chance to bike to our friends house, walk to school, or explore the world around us, we\u2019ve created an artificially small world. Not only, do we never develop our internal spatial awareness, but we ingrain a mental model that says the outside world is dangerous and we are not capable of navigating it. We never learn to make risk-assessments ourselves. And as we are learning, an appropriate assessment of risks, rewards, and our capabilities is how our brain decides whether to work hard and give effort or not. If our brain is convinced everything is risky, we default to \u201cwhy try mode.\u201dBy completely removing unsupervised exploration, we\u2019ve inadvertently denied kids the raw material required to overcome normal developmental anxieties. The things that helped develop self-regulation, conflict resolution, an internal locus of control\u2026are gone.It\u2019s as if we took everyone in school and said, use AI to solve all of your work because doing math, staring at a blank page to write, or giving a speech are too uncomfortable. Sure, we might complete the assignments and they\u2019ll have the appearance of doing math, writing an essay, and so forth\u2026but there\u2019s zero learning going on.By stepping in to eliminate all minor discomforts and physical risks, parents disrupt the child\u2019s capacity to learn through physical trial and error. In many ways, we\u2019ve systematically engineered learned helplessness. In my coaching work, I tell every athlete the same thing on day one: my goal is to make myself kind of obsolete. I\u2019m trying to coach them toward independence, not dependence. That doesn\u2019t mean I disappear or check out. It means I gradually give away control, in small bites, until the athlete is the one steering the ship. My role slowly shifts to guide, mentor, or even a co-pilot on the journey.In order to get there, you have to gradually give away responsibility and choice. Sure, it may start out that you dictate the workouts precisely. But over time, you ask and collaborate more (What do you think? What would you do?). You hand over decision making. At first, it might be something simple, do you think you can do one or two more reps? But over time, you provide more responsibility and autonomy. Those are the ingredients that build self-reliance, toughness, and a sense of agency.The late Kobe Bryant put it well, when watching his daughters basketball practice, and there was a parent on the sidelines encouraging and yelling at their daughter with things like \u201cDig deep!\u201c After practice, Bryant pulled that parent aside and said, \u201cWhen she\u2019s doing those line drills, don\u2019t say anything. Because there\u2019s a conversation that\u2019s happening inside her head. She\u2019s talking to herself pumping herself up to do it. So for an outside voice to come in to give her guidance and the push to keep going actually interrupts her process. Let her be. Let her figure it out herself.\u201dParenting works the same way. If we\u2019re always the person dictating and controlling, it might look and feel like the right thing in the moment. But too often we\u2019re preventing them from developing the exact skills that allow them to thrive when we\u2019re not there.So of course we need to fix the structural elements to allow our kids to roam. Of course, we want violence and danger to be low and should be aware of the safety of the area we\u2019re in. And of course, a 5 year old is going to have a different leash length than a 10 or even 15 year old. But\u2026 we\u2019ve got to let them navigate discomfort, to feel bored, to face conflict, to wander. Those are the building blocks of confidence, resilience, self-determination, and emotional regulation. I think about this when I watch my own daughters. Every instinct in me wants to fix the small problem before it becomes a hard one. As a person with OCD, there\u2019s always a tinge of fear of what will happen when our oldest reaches for those monkey bars or climbs the rock wall that I\u2019m not quite sure if she can handle yet. Part of my brain is always screaming \u201cDanger! Intervene!\u201d But just like I learned with OCD, not every feeling or thought needs power. Some we have to sit with it, realize that the world isn\u2019t on fire and that we aren\u2019t going to die. And eventually, that thought quiets down to its rightful level. Every parent I know has similar instincts. We aren\u2019t bad parents. We\u2019re just living in a world that has conditioned us to be afraid. But the kindest thing I can do, the thing that will actually make my daughters resilient, is to let the small problems happen. To let her negotiate the friendship I could fix in one phone call. To let her ride further than I\u2019m comfortable with. To gradually, appropriately lengthen that leash.-Steve MagnessFor more, you might like my piece on The Hidden Costs of Comfort or my books: Do Hard Things and Win the Inside Game.In a sea of nonsense, help good stuff reach others, please share:Share" ], "output": "readability/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:12.017319+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "screenshot": [], "singlefile": [], "title": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/bin/curl", "--silent", "--location", "--compressed", "--proxy", "socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--max-time", "60", "--user-agent", "Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)", "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" ], "cmd_version": "8.10.1", "end_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:11.221698+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "The Cost of Safetyism - Steve Magness", "pwd": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2026-05-28T18:08:11.129074+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "wget": [] }, "icons": null, "is_archived": true, "is_static": false, "latest": { "archive_org": "https://web.archive.org/web/20260528180843/https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism", "dom": "output.html", "favicon": "favicon.ico", "git": null, "media": "ArchiveError: Failed to save media", "pdf": null, "screenshot": null, "singlefile": null, "title": "The Cost of Safetyism - Steve Magness", "warc": null, "wget": null }, "link_dir": "/data/archive/1779991652.645346", "newest_archive_date": "2026-05-28T18:08:35.870281+00:00", "num_failures": 1, "num_outputs": 8, "oldest_archive_date": "2026-05-28T18:07:38.531390+00:00", "path": "/p/the-cost-of-safetyism", "schema": "Link", "scheme": "https", "snapshot_abid": "snp_01KSQWAAAE4B25EDB901EEJV04", "snapshot_id": "7f7381be-eb2b-429f-a053-2e9f5ce96c04", "sources": [ "/data/sources/1779991651-import.txt" ], "tags": null, "tags_str": "", "timestamp": "1779991652.645346", "title": "The Cost of Safetyism - Steve Magness", "url": "https://stevemagness.substack.com/p/the-cost-of-safetyism" }