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Artificial truth (archives.html) archives | (index.html) latest | (https://dustri.org) homepage The more you see, the less you believe. (./objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html) (Permalink to Objects should shut the fuck up) Objects should shut the fuck up (2025-07-29T21:15:00+02:00) Tue 29 July 2025 \u2014 (objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.markdown) download I have a small car, and it has a dual-tank: gas and (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquefied_petroleum_gas) LPG , which is a great\nway to reduce my car-related budget, as LPG is way cheaper. Unfortunately, when\nthe tank is starting to get depleted, the car will emit strident and loud beeps\nto notify me about it. And every single time time, it startles me like Hell,\nwhich isn't something I appreciate very much, especially when I'm steering a 1\nton metal box to overtake a trailer at (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoroutes_of_France#Motorway_speed_limits) 130km/h on the\nhighway .\nTo make things even double-plus-good, a full-screen \"LPG tank almost depleted!\"\nmessage will cover the whole dashboard. The very same dashboard that constantly\nhave at its bottom the current level of said LPG tank. The only time I want my car to maybe make some noise is when some critical shit\nis happening, like the oil level decreasing at an alarming rate. Having it yell\nat me that I'm only able to drive around 100 more kilometers on LPG, while I\nhave a full gasoline tank affording me a total autonomy of like 1000\nkilometres is anything but. I hate this, I hate that it's not configurable, I\nhate that it's waking everyone asleep in the car (especially toddlers), and I\nfucking hate that my car is actively lowering the safety of its passengers by\nscaring its driver. And of course, the notification will repeat a couple of\ntimes, at seemingly random intervals, likely because the complete bellend who\ndesigned this terrible scheme is taking the ever-lowering worldwide car-crash\nstatistics as a personal affront, and is on a mission from God to fix this. This major papercut made me think about how making noise for anything but the\ndirest emergency should be an off-by-default privilege that only the user can\nexplicitly grant, instead if being the default for all electricity-powered\nobjects. I'm a CyberSecurity Professional\u2122, earning a living breaking into\ncomputer and computer-adjacent systems, so I own the bare minimum in terms of\nSmart Devices\u2122, and yet, yet I realised that I still have a non-zero amount of\ninfernal noise-making crap. For example, my washing machine has an obnoxious alarm when it completes a\ncycle, that can fortunately be disabled via a (hidden!) menu. Now, I get it, it\nmight be useful to have some kind of alarm so that you don't forget your\nsoaking clothes and have them rot into a new variant of whatever medieval\ndisease. But, the alarm, while exceedingly loud, only lasts a handful of\nseconds, making it close to useless. Moreover, if you forget your laundry long\nenough for it to decay, you kind of deserve to have a Nurgle cult growing in\nyour basement. Even assuming for the sake of the argument that this\nanti-feature could somehow be useful, this isn't the only yapping caused of\nthis fiendish machine: the fucking \"beep\" happening every time one turns the\nknob or presses a button can't be deactivated. And don't you fucking dare talk\nto me about accessibility: all buttons are touch-sensitive, so useless to\nvisual-impaired users, and all tones are exactly the same, making them\nabsolutely useless for anything but waking up/startling the sleeping and\nunsuspecting house inhabitants. But this isn't everything, of course there is\nmore: it has a \"cute\" tone when it starts, for no fucking reason at all. Why is\nthis a thing? Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea? What's the\nreasoning behind this? It's a washing machine, there is no complicated fragile\nboot sequence, no hazardous warm-up shenanigans: I press the power-on button,\nit starts. Imagine having this ludicrous behaviour on all your objects: Opening\nyour faucet? \"DUDUDUDUUUUUUUU!\" Unlocking your front-door?\n\"LULULUUUUULULUUUUUU!\" Turning on the cooktop hood?\n\"LALALAAAAAAALAAAAAALAAAAA!\" Maybe turning your lights on in your living room?\nThe Ride of the Valkyries starts blasting at full volume. As electricity is green-ish and cheap-ish where I'm living, I have the luxury\nof having a drier as well, forming an unholy honky duo with the washing\nmachine: while it thankfully doesn't have a startup sound, the interaction-beep\ncan't be disabled there as well, nor can the alarm. You know, the alarm telling\nme that my clothes are dry\u2026 There is no reasons, let alone urgency, that I\nshould get any form of audio notification about this. I could spent 6 months in\nthe hospital after a car crash because of the aforementioned LPG (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_trumpets) seven\ntrumpets , come back to my place,\nand find my cloths still impeccably dry. The kitchen isn't spared either: my hotplates will try their very best to make\neveryone deaf should something like a dishcloth, or perish the though, some\nwater be present on more than two touch-sensitive buttons at once. I fail to\nconceptualize what the issue is here, and why this warrants all this racket:\ndoing nothing would be perfectly acceptable. Heck, if something really has to\nbe done for whatever regulation bullshit or whatnot, how about blinking the\nlights used to convey that the plates are hot? Or, if you really need to take\naction, just turn them off automatically. Really, anything but something that\nwould shame a car alarm in every way. But the very best, my complete favourite, \"the world class, maybe even the\nworld champion\" (kudos if you know where this is coming from), is a fucking\nbaby-phone that beeps when you turn it on. The use-case is \"monitoring a\nsleeping child\", and the loud beep tends to wake the aforementioned kid up. May\nthe gormless cock-up who created this absolute potato of a device spend his\nentire life walking on legos. Fortunately, everything isn't complete garbage in this world, and I even have a\ncouple of examples at hand: My dishwasher: no sound whatsoever, it simply opens up when it's done. My fridge: should I improperly close its door, it'll emit some faint noise\n for like 30 seconds. It's a totally valid important notification, as nobody\n wants to burn electricity to cold the room while the food goes bad. My ebook reader: it's physically unable to produce any sound. The world is dire enough as it is without having me adding to my shopping\ncriteria \"does it shut the fuck up?\" to an already long list. If you're\ndesigning objects, please take some time to test their notification mechanism\nnear an asleep toddler and/or a sleep-deprived lunatic, instead of making\npiling more noisy interruptions to our already notification-saturated reality. 2011-2025 -\n Julien ((https://dustri.org) jvoisin ) Voisin - (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0) CC BY - (https://dustri.org/b/atom.xml) atom /(https://dustri.org/b/rss.xml) rss /(https://bsky.app/profile/dustri.org) bluesky /(https://infosec.exchange/@jvoisin) mastodon -\n \u2665 (https://dustri.org/trap) anti-ai trap " ], "output": "htmltotext.txt", "pwd": "/data/archive/1766070030.663651", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:23.012420+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "media": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/local/bin/yt-dlp", "--restrict-filenames", "--trim-filenames", "128", "--write-description", "--write-info-json", "--write-annotations", "--write-thumbnail", "--no-call-home", "--write-sub", "--write-auto-subs", "--convert-subs=srt", "--yes-playlist", "--continue", "--no-abort-on-error", "--ignore-errors", "--geo-bypass", "--add-metadata", "--format=(bv*+ba/b)[filesize<=750m][filesize_approx<=?750m]/(bv*+ba/b)", "--skip-download", "--cache-dir=/data/yt-dlp-cache/", "--cookies=/data/yt-dlp-cache/cookies.txt", "--proxy=socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--no-playlist", "https://dustri.org/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html" ], "cmd_version": "2024.10.7", "end_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:28.351040+00:00", "index_texts": [], "output": "media/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1766070030.663651", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:23.380749+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "mercury": [ { "cmd": [ "/home/archivebox/.npm/bin/postlight-parser", "https://dustri.org/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html" ], "cmd_version": "2.2.3", "end_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:22.935991+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "mercury/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1766070030.663651", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:17.040360+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "pdf": [], "readability": [ { "cmd": [ "/home/archivebox/.npm/bin/readability-extractor", "/tmp/tmp09z_m_ds", "https://dustri.org/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html" ], "cmd_version": "0.0.11", "end_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:16.615401+00:00", "index_texts": [ "Objects should shut the fuck up\n \n \n \n \n I have a small car, and it has a dual-tank: gas and\nLPG, which is a great\nway to reduce my car-related budget, as LPG is way cheaper. Unfortunately, when\nthe tank is starting to get depleted, the car will emit strident and loud beeps\nto notify me about it. And every single time time, it startles me like Hell,\nwhich isn't something I appreciate very much, especially when I'm steering a 1\nton metal box to overtake a trailer at 130km/h on the\nhighway.\nTo make things even double-plus-good, a full-screen \"LPG tank almost depleted!\"\nmessage will cover the whole dashboard. The very same dashboard that constantly\nhave at its bottom the current level of said LPG tank.\nThe only time I want my car to maybe make some noise is when some critical shit\nis happening, like the oil level decreasing at an alarming rate. Having it yell\nat me that I'm only able to drive around 100 more kilometers on LPG, while I\nhave a full gasoline tank affording me a total autonomy of like 1000\nkilometres is anything but. I hate this, I hate that it's not configurable, I\nhate that it's waking everyone asleep in the car (especially toddlers), and I\nfucking hate that my car is actively lowering the safety of its passengers by\nscaring its driver. And of course, the notification will repeat a couple of\ntimes, at seemingly random intervals, likely because the complete bellend who\ndesigned this terrible scheme is taking the ever-lowering worldwide car-crash\nstatistics as a personal affront, and is on a mission from God to fix this.\nThis major papercut made me think about how making noise for anything but the\ndirest emergency should be an off-by-default privilege that only the user can\nexplicitly grant, instead if being the default for all electricity-powered\nobjects. I'm a CyberSecurity Professional\u2122, earning a living breaking into\ncomputer and computer-adjacent systems, so I own the bare minimum in terms of\nSmart Devices\u2122, and yet, yet I realised that I still have a non-zero amount of\ninfernal noise-making crap.\nFor example, my washing machine has an obnoxious alarm when it completes a\ncycle, that can fortunately be disabled via a (hidden!) menu. Now, I get it, it\nmight be useful to have some kind of alarm so that you don't forget your\nsoaking clothes and have them rot into a new variant of whatever medieval\ndisease. But, the alarm, while exceedingly loud, only lasts a handful of\nseconds, making it close to useless. Moreover, if you forget your laundry long\nenough for it to decay, you kind of deserve to have a Nurgle cult growing in\nyour basement. Even assuming for the sake of the argument that this\nanti-feature could somehow be useful, this isn't the only yapping caused of\nthis fiendish machine: the fucking \"beep\" happening every time one turns the\nknob or presses a button can't be deactivated. And don't you fucking dare talk\nto me about accessibility: all buttons are touch-sensitive, so useless to\nvisual-impaired users, and all tones are exactly the same, making them\nabsolutely useless for anything but waking up/startling the sleeping and\nunsuspecting house inhabitants. But this isn't everything, of course there is\nmore: it has a \"cute\" tone when it starts, for no fucking reason at all. Why is\nthis a thing? Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea? What's the\nreasoning behind this? It's a washing machine, there is no complicated fragile\nboot sequence, no hazardous warm-up shenanigans: I press the power-on button,\nit starts. Imagine having this ludicrous behaviour on all your objects: Opening\nyour faucet? \"DUDUDUDUUUUUUUU!\" Unlocking your front-door?\n\"LULULUUUUULULUUUUUU!\" Turning on the cooktop hood?\n\"LALALAAAAAAALAAAAAALAAAAA!\" Maybe turning your lights on in your living room?\nThe Ride of the Valkyries starts blasting at full volume.\nAs electricity is green-ish and cheap-ish where I'm living, I have the luxury\nof having a drier as well, forming an unholy honky duo with the washing\nmachine: while it thankfully doesn't have a startup sound, the interaction-beep\ncan't be disabled there as well, nor can the alarm. You know, the alarm telling\nme that my clothes are dry\u2026 There is no reasons, let alone urgency, that I\nshould get any form of audio notification about this. I could spent 6 months in\nthe hospital after a car crash because of the aforementioned LPG seven\ntrumpets, come back to my place,\nand find my cloths still impeccably dry.\nThe kitchen isn't spared either: my hotplates will try their very best to make\neveryone deaf should something like a dishcloth, or perish the though, some\nwater be present on more than two touch-sensitive buttons at once. I fail to\nconceptualize what the issue is here, and why this warrants all this racket:\ndoing nothing would be perfectly acceptable. Heck, if something really has to\nbe done for whatever regulation bullshit or whatnot, how about blinking the\nlights used to convey that the plates are hot? Or, if you really need to take\naction, just turn them off automatically. Really, anything but something that\nwould shame a car alarm in every way.\nBut the very best, my complete favourite, \"the world class, maybe even the\nworld champion\" (kudos if you know where this is coming from), is a fucking\nbaby-phone that beeps when you turn it on. The use-case is \"monitoring a\nsleeping child\", and the loud beep tends to wake the aforementioned kid up. May\nthe gormless cock-up who created this absolute potato of a device spend his\nentire life walking on legos.\nFortunately, everything isn't complete garbage in this world, and I even have a\ncouple of examples at hand:\n\nMy dishwasher: no sound whatsoever, it simply opens up when it's done.\nMy fridge: should I improperly close its door, it'll emit some faint noise\n for like 30 seconds. It's a totally valid important notification, as nobody\n wants to burn electricity to cold the room while the food goes bad.\nMy ebook reader: it's physically unable to produce any sound.\n\nThe world is dire enough as it is without having me adding to my shopping\ncriteria \"does it shut the fuck up?\" to an already long list. If you're\ndesigning objects, please take some time to test their notification mechanism\nnear an asleep toddler and/or a sleep-deprived lunatic, instead of making\npiling more noisy interruptions to our already notification-saturated reality." ], "output": "readability/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1766070030.663651", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:00.790202+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "screenshot": [], "singlefile": [], "title": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/bin/curl", "--silent", "--location", "--compressed", "--proxy", "socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--max-time", "60", "--user-agent", "Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)", "https://dustri.org/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html" ], "cmd_version": "8.10.1", "end_ts": "2025-12-18T15:01:00.035531+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "Objects should shut the fuck up", "pwd": "/data/archive/1766070030.663651", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-18T15:00:59.949139+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "wget": [] }, "icons": null, "is_archived": true, "is_static": false, "latest": { "archive_org": "TimeoutExpired: Command '['/usr/bin/curl', '--silent', '--location', '--compressed', '--proxy', 'socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150', '--head', '--max-time', '60', '--user-agent', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10_15_7) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/128.0.0.0 Safari/537.36 ArchiveBox/{VERSION} (+https://github.com/ArchiveBox/ArchiveBox/)', 'https://web.archive.org/save/https://dustri.org/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html']' timed out after 60 seconds", "dom": "output.html", "favicon": "favicon.ico", "git": null, "media": "media/", "pdf": null, "screenshot": null, "singlefile": null, "title": "Objects should shut the fuck up", "warc": null, "wget": null }, "link_dir": "/data/archive/1766070030.663651", "newest_archive_date": "2025-12-18T15:01:28.397832+00:00", "num_failures": 1, "num_outputs": 8, "oldest_archive_date": "2025-12-18T15:00:42.620747+00:00", "path": "/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html", "schema": "Link", "scheme": "https", "snapshot_abid": "snp_01KCRZM4T7AB14BEAA01KZT68H", "snapshot_id": "09fc2d63-2fdf-4a5f-90ff-a84a27fd1911", "sources": [ "/data/sources/1766070028-import.txt" ], "tags": null, "tags_str": "", "timestamp": "1766070030.663651", "title": "Objects should shut the fuck up", "url": "https://dustri.org/b/objects-should-shut-the-fuck-up.html" }