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(https://www.babycenter.com/community-help-guidelines) Learn more about our Community Guidelines . Just so you know, BabyCenter may earn a commission from shopping links. The Lemon Clot Essay- IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO HAVE PEOPLE OVER AFTER BIRTH YOU NEED TO READ THIS! m   mrsekko1   Posted 10-15-11   The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964)You will be leaking out of places you don't want to leak out of. Do you really want to stand up from the couch and have your father's parents see that not only have you bled through your pad, but the blood is now running down your leg. Do you really want to say, "honey, can you come with me to the bathroom, I am bleeding all over and I feel a huge bloodclot coming out"... in front of them? Contrast that to "mom, I need your help please, now, I'm bleeding all over!" Does your husband really understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized?How many bathrooms do you have? If only one, do you REALLY want to have to make it "guest-level clean" every time you leave it? Do you really want this gang of people ogling your diaper-sized pads, peribottle, tucks pads, and all the other supplies that will be in the bathroom? Even if you have two bathrooms, that means you can't use the main bathroom, because you still have to leave it "guest-level clean" every time you use it.Do they really plan to do something other than hold the baby, pass the baby around, and sit around expecting you guys to wait on them? Are they going to sit and stare at you? Thirty minutes after they arrive, and baby wants to breastfeed, are they going to quickly and willingly LEAVE your home so that you can breastfeed in the privacy and comfort of your space? Or are they going to hang around outside, waiting for you to be done, and knocking every so often wanting to know if they can come back in? Yeah, that's great for breastfeeding.Or better yet, are they going to blow you off, saying "it's no big deal", and expect you to breastfeed in front of them? Even experienced moms need several weeks of practice to get good at it, so to speak, so that they can breastfeed wherever they want. Learning to breastfeed is not a time for people to ogle and stare at you.When your breasts are engorged and painful and you want NOTHING to touch them, what then? Does your dh think it will be okay for his dad to stare at your huge naked breasts as you walk around topless?What if your birth is smack in the middle of their trip? So what are they going to do the first few days, before baby? Are they going to sit and stare at you, waiting for the big moment? Then what? Are they going to camp out in your hospital room every day, all day? Yeah, that's great for resting. What happens when you leave the hospital and they beat you to your own home, and all you want to do is lay down in your own bed? Are they going to leave graciously, or are they going to sit in your living room, eating your food, messing up your house, and making noise, so you can't nap?Does your DH normally allow people to invite themselves over to visit you guys without even ASKING? You guys are setting yourselves up for a lifetime of this. Then you will be blamed when you try to tell them that it is not a good time for you.Does your DH understand ANY of these things?? Does he not understand that it is NOT about entertaining guests, but about recovery from a major medical procedure (either vaginal or c-section)? Does he not understand that you just grew another human being in your body, and will have just gone through the process of getting it out?? This is going to be an exhausting, messy, wildly hormonal time. Does he not get that??******************************************Who Can Even be on the List to be Considered to Stay at Your Home After Childbirth by Sharon1964You know, nobody gets to stay in your home after birth unless they are helpful. So is his mother going to.... wash your bloody underwear in the sink? Clean and disinfect your toilet and perhaps the bathroom floor after you spend time in there? Clean up lemon size blood clots that come out of your vagina if you need help? Get hot washcloths and lay them on your naked engorged breasts? Hold a cold wet washcloth on the back of your neck when you break out in a sweat all over? Is she going to cook for you and clean for you and do the laundry, and make sure you are stocked with diapers and wipes and clean blankets? Is she going to allow you to breastfeed in private in your own living room by either going to her room or going outside? Is she going to allow you to pick up your own crying baby? Is she going to ASK you if you would like her to get the baby for you since you may be sore? Is she going to disappear when you want alone time with your new baby and your husband? Is she going to refrain from giving you advice but instead ask you what you need?And what's his dad going to do? Is he going to cut the grass and take out the garbage and make runs to the store for juice and milk? Is he going to wash the car or walk the dog or change the cat litter box?No? Yeah, that's what I thought.        (/post/a29842181/the_lemon_clot_essay-_if_you_are_planning_to_have_people_over_after_birth_you_need_to_read_this?commentBy=gzZPpVtq1IK6Us0q) Original poster's comments (10) (go to original poster's comments page)    (replied with hug)  401      ()      ()        83comments  Go to previous page   (Go to page number) Go to page number (1) Go to page number     / (/post/a29842181/the_lemon_clot_essay-_if_you_are_planning_to_have_people_over_after_birth_you_need_to_read_this?page=9) Go to last page 9  (/post/a29842181/the_lemon_clot_essay-_if_you_are_planning_to_have_people_over_after_birth_you_need_to_read_this?page=2)  Go to next page     a   AmandaH2009   Posted 10-15-11   LOL. This is so blunt, but true. With my first I was very blunt about the fact that I didn't want anybody at the house. My sister was welcome (she also held my leg back while I was giving birth - she has officially seen it all!) and that's it. The grandparents were welcome to visit whenever they wanted, but in small spurts. To me, the time was for our new family to bond and it was so nice to have that time to ourselves. I locked the doors, put a sign up that said "Thank you for visiting, but baby and mommy are resting now" and then later "Thank you for visiting - please use the disinfectant before coming in" :) I was probably overly blunt, but that is still one of the happiest times of my life.   (replied with hug)  58      ()  ()       n   nikkiFinallymom   Posted 10-15-11   Wow, I would hate if I were having a child with such an inconsiderate husband. Thank God my husband putsme first and foremost in his life!  (replied with hug)  19      ()  ()       m   MLa032681   Posted 10-15-11   I wish I would have read this after my first!  We have large families and EVERYONE came over.  About 2 hours into it, I kicked everyone out! I thought I could handle it but it was so overwhelming!  See all replies (1)     (replied with hug)  23      ()  ()      Advertisement | page continues below      m   MLa032681   Posted 10-15-11   I wish I would have read this after my first!  We have large families and EVERYONE came over.  About 2 hours into it, I kicked everyone out! I thought I could handle it but it was so overwhelming!  (replied with hug)  13      ()  ()       e   Emileah'smama   Posted 10-15-11   this is soooo true!! this time around I'm only telling the grand parents that I'm in labor.. not only did I not get any alone time with my DD the whole time we were in the hospital and the first few days at home, the whole time I was in labor my mom and BD's phones were ringing off the freaking hook, and they'd talk to these nosey buttholes super loud while I was screaming "shut the fuck up I'm trying to rest!" lol I could not get my DD to latch because every time it was feeding time some stranger to me would come in.  first time mommy's, you really need to consider these things. you're not going to feel up to too much company after you give birth whether you have a vaginal birth or a c-section, they're both painful and bloody.   (replied with hug)  24      ()  ()          (member avatar)    Josephfsp   Posted 10-15-11   First time mom here so this is very helpful. Thanks for posting.  (replied with hug)  14      ()  ()       m   mrsekko1 Original Poster   Posted 10-15-11   I thought this was perfect. And I'm totally putting up the signs.   (replied with hug)  17      ()  ()       (member avatar)    pineaple   Posted 10-15-11   Thanks for posting this! Very good info for FTMs, not something we would necessarily think about. And yes, love the signs idea!    (replied with hug)  10      ()  ()       m   mommyaleo   Posted 10-15-11   Really? That doesn't make much sense to me. And what's that about lemon size blood clots? When I had DS the nurse was checking if I was still passing blood clots and if two days after delivery you still have them that big they keep you at the hospital. Another thing is that even if I had no one come over, I wouldn't have my bathroom covered in blood, with tucks and pads all over the place. It's unsanitary. Truth is, if you have your mom or MIL there, they already know about that kind of still because they gave birth at least once! And I wouldn't want anyone to was my underwear, bloody or not. And FIL staring at the breasts? WTH???  See all replies (1)     (replied with hug) (replied with haha)  43      ()  ()        m   mrsekko1 Original Poster   Posted 10-15-11   With my first people would ust stop over without even callin first, and then would be weird when I nursed. Not this time.   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