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Study hard, get good grades, follow the formula and ultimately merit wins. Then we enter the workforce and none of it works quite like we thought.\u00a0This becomes painfully obvious as you rise higher in the org. Even seasoned veterans forget this. Recently, a director-level client hit a minor career bump and spiraled into crisis mode, their expectations still anchored in what I call \"school rules\". Organizations don't run purely on merit or even clear criteria. Although they claim otherwise using buzzwords like \u201cmerit\u201d and \u201cdata\u201d. That\u2019s only one part of the story, and also what\u2019s visible. The other part, often more consequential, runs on flawed psychology, imperfect decisions, and competing interests. You can call itorganizational absurdities. Or more bluntly, institutional stupidity. What follows is a reality check. It\u2019s a \u201cletter to frustrated high-performers\u201d who keep bumping up against these unwritten rules of work. Consider it your guide to staying sane while playing the long game. (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#if-you-have-to-blame-stupidity-not-malice) If you have to, blame stupidity not malice (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#organizations-are-anything-but-meritocracies) Organizations are anything but meritocracies (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#perception-matters-as-much-as-performance) Perception matters as much as performance (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#don%E2%80%99t-waste-time-fighting-for-%E2%80%9Cobjective-fairness%E2%80%9D) Don\u2019t waste time fighting for \u201cobjective fairness.\u201d (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#positioning-what-you-offer) Positioning what you offer (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#mind-the-gap-your-standards-vs-their%E2%80%99s) Mind the gap: your standards vs their\u2019s (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#higher-you-go-more-it%E2%80%99s-an-inverted-funnel) Higher you go, more it\u2019s an inverted funnel (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#know-which-game-you%E2%80%99re-choosing-to-play) Know which game you\u2019re choosing to play (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#watching-your-circle-of-control) Watching your circle of control (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/#keep-a-balanced-portfolio) Keep a balanced portfolio \ud83d\udca1 Before diving in, a quick note: This piece deliberately spotlights the subjective aspects of organizational life. While companies strive for objectivity in all areas, there's an overlooked undercurrent of subjectivity that significantly impacts work, and careers. By highlighting this less-discussed dimension, I hope to provide a more complete picture and prevent unnecessary frustration. You won\u2019t avoid it completely, but at least you\u2019ll be better equipped. If you have to, blame stupidity not malice Most of what we chalk up to \u201cpolitics\u201d or \u201cbackstabbing\u201d, aka bad intent, is often better explained by stupidity, inertia, bad incentives, fragmented attention, and misaligned maps of reality. People are juggling too much, thinking too little, and rarely stepping back to ask, \u201cWhat actually makes sense here?\u201d When you assume stupidity instead of malice, you stay above the fray, stop taking slights personally, or turning misjudgments into betrayals. This way we retain agency and choice. Assuming malice turns you into a cynic. In contrast, assuming stupidity keeps you curious. Instead of fighting ghosts, you study the system and ask better questions: What pressures is that person responding to? What game are they trying to win? What am I assuming as rational that\u2019s not? No one is out to get you; they\u2019re just out to get through the week. The shift from malice to stupidity gives you just enough distance to be curious instead of reactive. Organizations are anything but meritocracies Managers will claim they are, and we want to believe them. But the reality is that the best don\u2019t always rise. At least not as easily or automatically as we think they should. Sometimes they do. But often, what gets rewarded isn\u2019t performance but proximity to power, timing, perception, and political usefulness. This doesn\u2019t mean performance doesn\u2019t matter. It means performance is necessary but not sufficient. It is the entry ticket\u00a0that gets you through the door, but does not guarantee a seat at the table. Assuming that excellence is obvious is the fatal error of the conscientious expert. Although it creates value, performance doesn\u2019t automatically generate visibility, influence, or narrative. And those are the currencies that get traded when decisions are made by humans. Merit matters, but it needs a stage and a spotlight. It doesn\u2019t mean becoming a shameless self-promoter. Rather,your work needs a distribution strategy. Perception matters as much as performance In school, everyone was evaluated against an objective criteria by someone paid to assess fairly. In organizations, no such thing exists.Instead, perception is the \u201cdata\u201d. And this data is constructed often haphazardly by busy people working off limited inputs. You have to manage the story by(https://www.leadingsapiens.com/impression-management/) shaping impressions intentionally . Not only does perception matter as much as performance but (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/schrodingers-cat-at-work/) who\u2019s doing the perceiving matters even more. Not all perceivers are created equal. A peer may love your work but they might not be a critical node in the web of influence. Who gets consulted? Do they know what you\u2019ve built, and have they heard your name in relevant contexts? It\u2019s not just \u201cdo great work.\u201d; it\u2019s also \u201cdo the work that\u2019s perceived as valuable.\u201d This means translating your work\u2019s significance up the chain and shape its interpretation. If not, others will do it for you and they may not be generous, or even accurate. For more, see my last two articles: (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/schrodingers-cat-at-work/) Schrodinger\u2019s Cat at Work Part I and (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/schrodingers-cat-building-the-box-of-limitations/) Schrodinger\u2019s Cat at Work Part II . Don\u2019t waste time fighting for \u201cobjective fairness.\u201d On paper, organizations love metrics: KPIs, OKRs, dashboards. They create the appearance of detached objectivity. Meanwhile, subjective decisions are constantly happening behind the scenes. The decisions about who to trust, or who gets a shot are made through informal reputations and shared stories about your value. Then the \u201cdata\u201d is used to justify them in retrospect. Rather than rant against the system, get good at reading the underlying subjective logic : Who does this person trust, and why? What do they consider strategic vs tactical? What would make them feel safe betting on me? Subjectivity isn\u2019t the enemy. It\u2019s the underlying physics of it. Positioning what you offer You may have had the right message but at the wrong moment, or in the wrong wrapper. Positioning is the context around your contributions: Why now? Why you? Why this way? A good idea, or stellar performance, poorly positioned can seem irrelevant. In contrast, a mediocre one nicely positioned is deemed visionary. It\u2019s not just what you say but also when , how , and through whom you say it. Persistence matters as well. Think in campaigns, not just one-time efforts. In my piece on (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/effective-leadership-as-effective-conversations/) effective conversations I wrote: It's the series of messages in different forms that over time makes the difference. More akin to waves shaping the shoreline rather than the occasional once in a lifetime tsunami. What messages are you sending, are they varied, and are you doing it consistently? This is as true for marketing products as it is for positioning yourself inside organizations. Mind the gap: your standards vs their\u2019s Another obvious but forgotten reality of organizational life: Not everyone operates by the same playbook. You prioritize substance and direct contribution, while others focus on visibility and relationship-building in ways that are uncomfortable to you. It\u2019s that colleague who excels at positioning routine work as \u201cstrategic\u201d, or the peer who builds influence through cultivating key relationships. And yes, these approaches do yield results. But this doesn\u2019t mean dismissing it as pure politics or simply abandoning your principles. It means understanding the landscape you're operating in. You can\u2019t effectively participate in a game you refuse to see clearly.\u00a0You're not at a disadvantage because you choose to act with integrity. It\u2019s because you fail to recognize that influence flows through multiple channels and\u00a0others are willing to play differently. The key is not to match their behavior but to factor it in .\u00a0Instead of expecting fairness, anticipate asymmetry . And then get creative about how you play. Being ethical doesn\u2019t mean being passive but tactically awake. Higher you go, more it\u2019s an inverted funnel Perhaps the most obvious point but alsoeasy to forget especially if your career has been on autopilot so far. There\u2019s a bottleneck up top: fewer seats, more ambiguity, less structure and high subjectivity. It\u2019s not just hard to get in but even harder to stay clear on what \u201cgood\u201d even looks like. This means you can do everything right and still get passed over. That\u2019s not a verdict on your worth or ability, just geometry. It also means that staying the course when things don\u2019t go your way isn\u2019t just a virtue but a practice. To play the long game, you have to keep showing up even after crushing disappointment without getting cynical of the process. Put differently, you need high levels of (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/frustration-tolerance/) frustration tolerance . Cliched? Yes, very much so, but also uncommon. It means if you can pull it off, it\u2019s a (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/sources-of-power-in-organizations/) source of power . Know which game you\u2019re choosing to play There is no one game being played. There are multiple, overlapping games with different scoring systems. Some are playing to build long-term credibility; others for short-term visibility. You can\u2019t play them all and neither should you try. The real problem is we slide into playing someone else's game without realizing it. We adopt the norms and metrics of others without checking if that\u2019s the game we actually want to play, let alone win. So we end up optimizing for a role we don\u2019t respect, or chasing promotions that hollow us out. Whatever you\u2019re doing, own it outright. Not just the upside but also the downside. If you're focused on building something lasting like developing others, or robust systems, you need to accept that visible status markers (titles, promotions, recognition) might not happen right away. The danger isn't which path you pick, whether it's chasing promotions or maintaining your autonomy. The real disaster is to sleepwalk down a path while pretending you had no choice in the matter. Watching your circle of control An easy way to burn out is to focus relentlessly onthings you care about but cannot actually influence . Over time, especially in large organizations, it's tempting to attribute everything to forces outside yourself. This induces (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/locus-of-control/#locus-of-control-and-learned-helplessness-in-organizations) organizational helplessness . A sense that nothing you do matters unless someone above says so. Fight that, not with bluster, but with deliberate ownership of (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/circle-of-control-influence-concerns/) the space you control and influence .\u00a0While experienced professionals often have more influence than they think, it's distributed differently than they expect. The key is maintaining (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/locus-of-control/) an internal locus of control which includes your positioning, relationships, and what you are building. Keep a balanced portfolio This is a well-understood concept in investing but often missing in the context of long careers. If all your identity is wrapped up in organizational validation, you're fragile. This means setbacks\u00a0don't just rattle your job, it rattles your sense of self. Many mid-career professionals learn this the hard way. To state the obvious: you are not your title, or your most recent performance review. The anti-dote is diversification not of money, but meaning. Rebalancing here means investing in other sources of connection and community. This includes: Developing a craft that exists beyond a given employer. Investing in communities that outlast org charts. Projects, relationships, and sources of learning that replenish. You are building (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/adaptive-capacity/) adaptive capacity . A balanced portfolio also helps to play the long game with more (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/courage-modern-leadership-organizations/) psychological courage because your whole life isn't riding on the next promotion cycle or external validation. In closing By recognizing the subjective currents that shape work environments, we can operate within them more skillfully. This isn't cynicism or gaming the system. Rather, it's developing a nuanced understanding of how organizations actually function. This stance equips us to make more intentional choices about how to engage, contribute, and create meaning. As ideal as it sounds, the goal isn't to eliminate organizational absurdities, but to work effectively within and around them. By staying in the game, you find ways to gradually improve the system from within. Organizations are ultimately human constructs.Imperfect, but not immutable. Get Smarter. Lead Better. Access proven frameworks to accelerate your leadership/career. Get my free newsletter The Leading Sapiens Weekly (LSW). (Your best personal email...) SUBSCRIBE \ud83d\udfe1 8,000+ readers/month. \ud83d\udfe1BONUS: You get a spreadsheet of my curated collection ofthe 100 best articles Harvard Business Review has ever published. Spans 70 years, complete with categories & pointers. Related reading (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/frustration-tolerance/) Frustration tolerance (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/frustration-tolerance/) Frustration Tolerance: An Essential for Surviving Large Orgs In leadership and life, ambitions often outpace our ability to consistently execute on them. A hidden hurdle that trips up many is their level of \u201cfrustration tolerance.\u201d This is particularly true in large organizations that are literally designed to frustrate ambitions and agendas. In this piece, I unpack the critical () Leading Sapiens Sheril Mathews () (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/developing-negative-capability-leadership/) Negative capability (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/developing-negative-capability-leadership/) Why Developing Negative Capability is Critical in Leadership Leadership development is usually about positive abilities. Negative Capability is often forgotten but equally critical. What is it and what prevents it? () Leading Sapiens Sheril Mathews () (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/circle-of-control-influence-concerns/) Circle of control (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/circle-of-control-influence-concerns/) Circle of Control, Influence, and Acceptance: Where to Focus Your Energy How do effective leaders maintain their composure when everything seems out of control? They\u2019re adept at discerning what they can control vs what they can\u2019t, and what they can influence. The circle of control, influence, and concerns (acceptance) framework or CIA \u2014 is a \u201cleadership triage\u201d tool that helps () Leading Sapiens Sheril Mathews () (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/locus-of-control/) Locus of control (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/locus-of-control/) Locus of Control: A Leadership Perspective Locus of control refers to how we view circumstances in terms of the amount of control we have over situations and the experiences that affect us. I look at locus of control specifically in the context of leadership and management: how locus of control impacts leadership performance, and how it () Leading Sapiens Sheril Mathews () (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/cognitive-distortions-leaders/) Cognitive distortions (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/cognitive-distortions-leaders/) Cognitive Distortions that Undermine Clear Thinking Leaders are paid to think clearly. And a big impediment to clear thinking is what CBT/REBT calls Cognitive Distortions: errors in thinking or thinking traps we commonly fall for. Most high-performers are not pathological, but instead fall for them when upset or in high-stress situations. In this post, I () Leading Sapiens Sheril Mathews () (/tag/newsletter/) Newsletter (/tag/organizations/) Organizations Share (https://twitter.com/share?text=Work%20is%20Not%20School%3A%20Surviving%20Institutional%20Stupidity&url=https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/) (Share on Twitter) (https://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/) (Share on Facebook) (https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/&title=Work%20is%20Not%20School%3A%20Surviving%20Institutional%20Stupidity&summary=Work%20is%20Not%20School%3A%20Surviving%20Institutional%20Stupidity) (Share on Linkedin) (mailto:?subject=Work%20is%20Not%20School%3A%20Surviving%20Institutional%20Stupidity&body=https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/\u00a0Work%20is%20Not%20School%3A%20Surviving%20Institutional%20Stupidity) (Share by email) (Copy to clipboard) (/author/sheril/) (Sheril Mathews) (/author/sheril/) Sheril Mathews I am an executive/leadership coach. Before LS, I worked for 20 years in corporate America in various technical & leadership roles. Have feedback? You can reach me at sheril@leadingsapiens.com. (https://x.com/mathews_sheril) (Twitter) (https://www.leadingsapiens.com/about/) (Website) Related articles you might like (/tag/newsletter/) Newsletter \u2022 13 min read (/ics-managers-leaders-why-real-leadership-is-rare/) ICs vs Managers vs Leaders: Why Real Leadership is Rare It should be considered that there is nothing more difficult to handle, more doubtful of success, or more dangerous to\u2026 (/author/sheril/) (Sheril Mathews) (/author/sheril/) Sheril Mathews \u2022 14 Nov 2025 (/tag/newsletter/) Newsletter \u2022 9 min read (/adaptive-capacity/) How's Your Adaptive Capacity? In nature, species that survive aren't the strongest or smartest. They're the most adaptive. 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(Scroll to top) Table of Contents If you have to, blame stupidity not malice Organizations are anything but meritocracies Perception matters as much as performance Don\u2019t waste time fighting for \u201cobjective fairness.\u201d Positioning what you offer Mind the gap: your standards vs their\u2019s Higher you go, more it\u2019s an inverted funnel Know which game you\u2019re choosing to play Watching your circle of control Keep a balanced portfolio In closing Get Smarter. Lead Better. Related reading Great! You\u2019ve successfully signed up. Welcome back! You've successfully signed in. You've successfully subscribed to Leading Sapiens. Your link has expired. Success! Check your email for magic link to sign-in. Success! Your billing info has been updated. Your billing was not updated. (portal-trigger) Get Smarter. Lead Better. Access proven frameworks to accelerate your leadership/career. Get my free newsletter The Leading Sapiens Weekly (LSW). (Your best personal email...) SUBSCRIBE \ud83d\udfe1 8,000+ readers/month. \ud83d\udfe1BONUS: You get a spreadsheet of my collection ofthe 100 best articles Harvard Business Review has ever published. Spans 70 years, complete with categories & pointers. Get Smarter. Lead Better. Access proven frameworks to accelerate your leadership/career.\u200bGet my free newsletter The Leading Sapiens Weekly (LSW). (Your best personal email...) SUBSCRIBE \ud83d\udfe1 8,000+ readers/month. \ud83d\udfe1BONUS: You get a spreadsheet of my curated collection ofthe 100 best articles Harvard Business Review has ever published. Spans 70 years, complete with categories & pointers. " ], "output": "htmltotext.txt", "pwd": "/data/archive/1765541217.699037", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-12T12:07:36.797968+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "media": [ { "cmd": [ "/usr/local/bin/yt-dlp", "--restrict-filenames", "--trim-filenames", "128", "--write-description", "--write-info-json", "--write-annotations", "--write-thumbnail", "--no-call-home", "--write-sub", "--write-auto-subs", "--convert-subs=srt", "--yes-playlist", "--continue", "--no-abort-on-error", "--ignore-errors", "--geo-bypass", "--add-metadata", "--format=(bv*+ba/b)[filesize<=750m][filesize_approx<=?750m]/(bv*+ba/b)", "--skip-download", "--cache-dir=/data/yt-dlp-cache/", "--cookies=/data/yt-dlp-cache/cookies.txt", "--proxy=socks5://tor-socks-proxy:9150", "--no-playlist", "https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/" ], "cmd_version": "2024.10.7", "end_ts": "2025-12-12T12:07:43.174077+00:00", "index_texts": [], "output": "media/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1765541217.699037", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-12T12:07:38.525479+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "mercury": [ { "cmd": [ "/home/archivebox/.npm/bin/postlight-parser", "https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/" ], "cmd_version": "2.2.3", "end_ts": "2025-12-12T12:07:36.763801+00:00", "index_texts": null, "output": "mercury/", "pwd": "/data/archive/1765541217.699037", "schema": "ArchiveResult", "start_ts": "2025-12-12T12:07:34.160761+00:00", "status": "succeeded" } ], "pdf": [], "readability": [ { "cmd": [ "/home/archivebox/.npm/bin/readability-extractor", "/tmp/tmpxpgrqlh2", "https://www.leadingsapiens.com/surviving-institutional-stupidity/" ], "cmd_version": "0.0.11", "end_ts": "2025-12-12T12:07:25.536391+00:00", "index_texts": [ "For 16+ years, we master the rules of school. Study hard, get good grades, follow the formula and ultimately merit wins. Then we enter the workforce and none of it works quite like we thought.\u00a0This becomes painfully obvious as you rise higher in the org. Even seasoned veterans forget this. Recently, a director-level client hit a minor career bump and spiraled into crisis mode, their expectations still anchored in what I call \"school rules\".Organizations don't run purely on merit or even clear criteria. Although they claim otherwise using buzzwords like \u201cmerit\u201d and \u201cdata\u201d. That\u2019s only one part of the story, and also what\u2019s visible.\u00a0The other part, often more consequential, runs on flawed psychology, imperfect decisions, and competing interests. You can call it\u00a0organizational absurdities. Or more bluntly, institutional stupidity.What follows is a reality check. It\u2019s a \u201cletter to frustrated high-performers\u201d who keep bumping up against these unwritten rules of work. Consider it your guide to staying sane while playing the long game.If you have to, blame stupidity not maliceOrganizations are anything but meritocraciesPerception matters as much as performanceDon\u2019t waste time fighting for \u201cobjective fairness.\u201dPositioning what you offerMind the gap: your standards vs their\u2019sHigher you go, more it\u2019s an inverted funnelKnow which game you\u2019re choosing to playWatching your circle of controlKeep a balanced portfolio\ud83d\udca1Before diving in, a quick note: This piece deliberately spotlights the subjective aspects of organizational life. While companies strive for objectivity in all areas, there's an overlooked undercurrent of subjectivity that significantly impacts work, and careers. By highlighting this less-discussed dimension, I hope to provide a more complete picture and prevent unnecessary frustration. You won\u2019t avoid it completely, but at least you\u2019ll be better equipped.If you have to, blame stupidity not maliceMost of what we chalk up to \u201cpolitics\u201d or \u201cbackstabbing\u201d, aka bad intent, is often better explained by stupidity, inertia, bad incentives, fragmented attention, and misaligned maps of reality.People are juggling too much, thinking too little, and rarely stepping back to ask, \u201cWhat actually makes sense here?\u201dWhen you assume stupidity instead of malice, you stay above the fray, stop taking slights personally, or turning misjudgments into betrayals. This way we retain agency and choice.Assuming malice turns you into a cynic. In contrast, assuming stupidity keeps you curious.\u00a0 Instead of fighting ghosts, you study the system and ask better questions:What pressures is that person responding to?What game are they trying to win?What am I assuming as rational that\u2019s not?No one is out to get you; they\u2019re just out to get through the week. The shift from malice to stupidity gives you just enough distance to be curious instead of reactive.Organizations are anything but meritocraciesManagers will claim they are, and we want to believe them. But the reality is that the best don\u2019t always rise. At least not as easily or automatically as we think they should.Sometimes they do. But often, what gets rewarded isn\u2019t performance but proximity to power, timing, perception, and political usefulness.This doesn\u2019t mean performance doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0It means performance is necessary but not sufficient.\u00a0It is the entry ticket\u00a0that gets you through the door, but does not guarantee a seat at the table.Assuming that excellence is obvious is the fatal error of the conscientious expert. Although it creates value, performance doesn\u2019t automatically generate visibility, influence, or narrative. And those are the currencies that get traded when decisions are made by humans.Merit matters, but it needs a stage and a spotlight. It doesn\u2019t mean becoming a shameless self-promoter. Rather,\u00a0your work needs a distribution strategy.\u00a0Perception matters as much as performanceIn school, everyone was evaluated against an objective criteria by someone paid to assess fairly.\u00a0In organizations, no such thing exists.\u00a0Instead, perception\u00a0is\u00a0the \u201cdata\u201d.\u00a0And this data is constructed often haphazardly by busy people working off limited inputs. You have to manage the story by\u00a0shaping impressions intentionally.Not only does perception matter as much as performance but who\u2019s doing the perceiving matters even more.\u00a0Not all perceivers are created equal. A peer may love your work but they might not be a critical node in the web of influence. Who gets consulted? Do they know what you\u2019ve built, and have they heard your name in relevant contexts?It\u2019s not just \u201cdo great work.\u201d; it\u2019s also \u201cdo the work that\u2019s perceived as valuable.\u201d This means translating your work\u2019s significance up the chain and shape its interpretation. If not, others will do it for you and they may not be generous, or even accurate.For more, see my last two articles:\u00a0Schrodinger\u2019s Cat at Work Part I\u00a0and\u00a0Schrodinger\u2019s Cat at Work Part II.Don\u2019t waste time fighting for \u201cobjective fairness.\u201dOn paper, organizations love metrics: KPIs, OKRs, dashboards. They create the appearance of detached objectivity.Meanwhile, subjective decisions are constantly happening behind the scenes. The decisions about who to trust, or who gets a shot are made through informal reputations and shared stories about your value. Then the \u201cdata\u201d is used to justify them in retrospect.Rather than rant against the system,\u00a0get good at reading the underlying subjective logic:Who does this person trust, and why?What do they consider strategic vs tactical?What would make them feel safe betting on me?Subjectivity isn\u2019t the enemy. It\u2019s the underlying physics of it.Positioning what you offerYou may have had the right message but at the wrong moment, or in the wrong wrapper.Positioning is the context around your contributions:\u00a0Why now? Why you? Why this way?\u00a0A good idea, or stellar performance, poorly positioned can seem irrelevant. In contrast, a mediocre one nicely positioned is deemed visionary.It\u2019s not just\u00a0what\u00a0you say but also\u00a0when,\u00a0how, and\u00a0through whom\u00a0you say it.Persistence matters as well.\u00a0Think in campaigns, not just one-time efforts. In my piece on\u00a0effective conversations\u00a0I wrote:\u00a0It's the series of messages in different forms that over time makes the difference. More akin to waves shaping the shoreline rather than the occasional once in a lifetime tsunami.What messages are you sending, are they varied, and are you doing it consistently? This is as true for marketing products as it is for positioning yourself inside organizations.Mind the gap: your standards vs their\u2019sAnother obvious but forgotten reality of organizational life:\u00a0Not everyone operates by the same playbook.\u00a0You prioritize substance and direct contribution, while others focus on visibility and relationship-building in ways that are uncomfortable to you. It\u2019s that colleague who excels at positioning routine work as \u201cstrategic\u201d, or the peer who builds influence through cultivating key relationships.And yes, these approaches do yield results.But this doesn\u2019t mean dismissing it as pure politics or simply abandoning your principles. It means understanding the landscape you're operating in.\u00a0You can\u2019t effectively participate in a game you refuse to see clearly.\u00a0You're not at a disadvantage because you choose to act with integrity. It\u2019s because you fail to recognize that influence flows through multiple channels and\u00a0others are willing to play differently.\u00a0The key is not to match their behavior but to factor it in.\u00a0Instead of expecting fairness,\u00a0anticipate asymmetry.\u00a0And then get creative about how you play.\u00a0Being ethical doesn\u2019t mean being passive but tactically awake.\u00a0Higher you go, more it\u2019s an inverted funnelPerhaps the most obvious point but also\u00a0easy to forget especially if your career has been on autopilot so far.There\u2019s a bottleneck up top: fewer seats, more ambiguity, less structure and high subjectivity. It\u2019s not just hard to get in but even harder to stay clear on what \u201cgood\u201d even looks like.This means you can do everything right and still get passed over. That\u2019s not a verdict on your worth or ability, just geometry.It also means that staying the course when things don\u2019t go your way isn\u2019t just a virtue but a practice. To play the long game, you have to keep showing up even after crushing disappointment without getting cynical of the process. Put differently, you need high levels of frustration tolerance.Cliched? Yes, very much so, but also uncommon. It means if you can pull it off, it\u2019s a source of power.Know which game you\u2019re choosing to playThere is no one game being played. There are multiple, overlapping games with different scoring systems. Some are playing to build long-term credibility; others for short-term visibility.\u00a0You can\u2019t play them all and neither should you try.The real problem is we slide into playing someone else's game without realizing it.\u00a0We adopt the norms and metrics of others without checking if that\u2019s the game we actually want to play, let alone win. So we end up optimizing for a role we don\u2019t respect, or chasing promotions that hollow us out.Whatever you\u2019re doing, own it outright. Not just the upside but also the downside. If you're focused on building something lasting like developing others, or robust systems, you need to accept that visible status markers (titles, promotions, recognition) might not happen right away.The danger isn't which path you pick, whether it's chasing promotions or maintaining your autonomy.\u00a0The real disaster is to sleepwalk down a path while pretending you had no choice in the matter.Watching your circle of controlAn easy way to burn out is to focus relentlessly on things you care about but cannot actually influence. Over time, especially in large organizations, it's tempting to attribute everything to forces outside yourself. This induces organizational helplessness. A sense that nothing you do matters unless someone above says so.Fight that, not with bluster, but with deliberate ownership of the space you control and influence.\u00a0While experienced professionals often have more influence than they think, it's distributed differently than they expect.\u00a0The key is maintaining an internal locus of control which includes your positioning, relationships, and what you are building.Keep a balanced portfolioThis is a well-understood concept in investing but often missing in the context of long careers. If all your identity is wrapped up in organizational validation, you're fragile. This means setbacks\u00a0don't just rattle your job, it rattles your sense of self.Many mid-career professionals learn this the hard way. To state the obvious: you are not your title, or your most recent performance review.The anti-dote is diversification not of money, but meaning.Rebalancing here means investing in other sources of connection and community. This includes:Developing a craft that exists beyond a given employer.Investing in communities that outlast org charts.Projects, relationships, and sources of learning that replenish.You are building adaptive capacity.A balanced portfolio also helps to play the long game with more\u00a0psychological courage\u00a0because your whole life isn't riding on the next promotion cycle or external validation.In closingBy recognizing the subjective currents that shape work environments, we can operate within them more skillfully.This isn't cynicism or gaming the system. Rather, it's developing a nuanced understanding of how organizations actually function. This stance equips us to make more intentional choices about how to engage, contribute, and create meaning.As ideal as it sounds, the goal isn't to eliminate organizational absurdities, but to work effectively within and around them. By staying in the game, you find ways to gradually improve the system from within.\u00a0Organizations are ultimately human constructs.\u00a0Imperfect, but not immutable.\n\n\ud83d\udfe1 8,000+ readers/month.\ud83d\udfe1BONUS: You get a spreadsheet of my curated collection of the 100 best articles Harvard Business Review has ever published. Spans 70 years, complete with categories & pointers.\n\nFrustration toleranceFrustration Tolerance: An Essential for Surviving Large OrgsIn leadership and life, ambitions often outpace our ability to consistently execute on them. A hidden hurdle that trips up many is their level of \u201cfrustration tolerance.\u201d This is particularly true in large organizations that are literally designed to frustrate ambitions and agendas. In this piece, I unpack the criticalLeading SapiensSheril MathewsNegative capabilityWhy Developing Negative Capability is Critical in LeadershipLeadership development is usually about positive abilities. Negative Capability is often forgotten but equally critical. What is it and what prevents it?Leading SapiensSheril MathewsCircle of controlCircle of Control, Influence, and Acceptance: Where to Focus Your EnergyHow do effective leaders maintain their composure when everything seems out of control? They\u2019re adept at discerning what they can control vs what they can\u2019t, and what they can influence. The circle of control, influence, and concerns (acceptance) framework or CIA \u2014 is a \u201cleadership triage\u201d tool that helpsLeading SapiensSheril MathewsLocus of controlLocus of Control: A Leadership PerspectiveLocus of control refers to how we view circumstances in terms of the amount of control we have over situations and the experiences that affect us. I look at locus of control specifically in the context of leadership and management: how locus of control impacts leadership performance, and how itLeading SapiensSheril MathewsCognitive distortionsCognitive Distortions that Undermine Clear ThinkingLeaders are paid to think clearly. And a big impediment to clear thinking is what CBT/REBT calls Cognitive Distortions: errors in thinking or thinking traps we commonly fall for. Most high-performers are not pathological, but instead fall for them when upset or in high-stress situations. 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