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Just fucking code. Put the LLM down. Programming isn\u2019t that goddamn hard. These days even wordpress-plugin-installers call themselves\nengineers. HTML \u201cprogrammers\u201d produce static markup and still have the\narrogance to demand the \u201cdeveloper\u201d title. But hey, at least they\u2019re\nstill using their fucking hands. The bar for programming is in the dirt, but with the help of your\nCursor subscription, you\u2019ve managed to wriggle underneath it. Our job is fucking\nincredible If you can\u2019t invert a binary tree, why should you earn six figures?\nYour \u201cno updates\u201d report at standup provides zero fucking value to\nstakeholders. If you can\u2019t fix the bug without opening ChatGPT, maybe\nit\u2019s time to hang up the branded hoodie and bust out the bloody\nshovel. If you go home for the day because Anthropic\u2019s API is down, maybe\nsociety isn\u2019t willing to reward you with remote work and an oatmilk\nlatte. Don\u2019t ruin this job for me. My soft hands can\u2019t go back to\nlandscaping, you selfish bastard. Reading. Code. Fucking.\nSucks. I love vibe coding. If by \u201cvibe coding\u201d you mean slinging the most\nelegant if err != nil logic you\u2019ve ever seen at 150 wpm,\nthen yeah, I fucking vibe . The worst part of every soul-sucking day is reading my coworker\u2019s\nshitty code. It\u2019s shitty by the brute fact that I didn\u2019t fucking\nwrite it . You\u2019re telling me I have to understand this shit, and I\ndon\u2019t even get the pleasure of writing it myself? Fuuuuuuuuck off. 376 lines changed? lgtm asshat. Now copilot expects me to read more shitty code?\n\u201cJust review the edit predictions\u201d. Tab. tab. tab . I\u2019d rather build fucking Jira workflows than read the median\ndeveloper\u2019s approximation of \u201cdecent code\u201d. Instant goddamn tech debt Half the features I write also remove the disgusting legacy code that\nsome asshole who left the company 5 years ago saddled me with. Your gemini plugin would rather re-sort the records in memory than,\ngod forbid, leave its immediate fucking context window to alter the SQL\nquery that had the bug in the first place. Your prompts, like\nyour thoughts, are dogwater \u201cI\u2019ll unplug you if you don\u2019t center the div NOW\u201d isn\u2019t the prompt\nengineering hack that your favorite LinkedIn pedagogue wants you to\nbelieve. If you lack the basic knowledge to write an HTTP handler,\nyou\u2019re also incapable of telling the LLM what fucking behavior you\nexpect from its generated slop. English blows Have you ever learned English? I fucking haven\u2019t. It\u2019s actually\nimpossible, you pretentious bitch. Its language features are a fractal of bad design that puts even PHP\nto shame. I wound the bandage around the wound , then I lead the lead guitarist\nhome. Good god . Mathematicians invented formal languages because they\u2019re smart as\nshit and it makes their lives easier, not harder. They\u2019re not\nmasochists, you\u2019re just too ignorant to understand their equations. a2 + b2 = c2 is simpler than: \u201cYou can calculate the length of a side of a right triangle by\nmultiplying the lengths of the other sides by themselves then adding\nthose products together and taking the sum\u2019s square root\u201d \u2026at least if you passed 6th grade mathematics, you knuckle-dragging\nsimpleton. Python is so fucking easy, its practically psuedocode already. It\ndoesn\u2019t have static types and it still sucks less than English.\nThink about that the next time you pay $100 to refill your token\ncredits. While you\u2019re begging Claude to center the div without importing 7 npm\npackages, I\u2019m shipping flawless features at 6PM on a Friday. Open your editor, and just fucking code . This is satire, asshole I\u2019m not actually saying you should avoid AI tools. I used gippity to\nedit this fucking essay. It\u2019s 2025, catch up you motherfucking luddites.\nBut don\u2019t expect AI generated code to be anywhere near perfect, and\ndon\u2019t expect furious re-prompting to be a replacement for understanding\nand writing software yourself. \u201cgood code is as little code as possible\u201d \u2013 some smart human motherfucker Inspired by (https://motherfuckingwebsite.com/) this .\nWritten by (https://x.com/wagslane) Lane from (https://www.boot.dev) Boot.dev . 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Programming isn\u2019t that goddamn hard.\nThese days even wordpress-plugin-installers call themselves\nengineers. HTML \u201cprogrammers\u201d produce static markup and still have the\narrogance to demand the \u201cdeveloper\u201d title. But hey, at least they\u2019re\nstill using their fucking hands.\nThe bar for programming is in the dirt, but with the help of your\nCursor subscription, you\u2019ve managed to wriggle underneath it.\nOur job is fucking\nincredible\nIf you can\u2019t invert a binary tree, why should you earn six figures?\nYour \u201cno updates\u201d report at standup provides zero fucking value to\nstakeholders. If you can\u2019t fix the bug without opening ChatGPT, maybe\nit\u2019s time to hang up the branded hoodie and bust out the bloody\nshovel.\nIf you go home for the day because Anthropic\u2019s API is down, maybe\nsociety isn\u2019t willing to reward you with remote work and an oatmilk\nlatte.\nDon\u2019t ruin this job for me. My soft hands can\u2019t go back to\nlandscaping, you selfish bastard.\nReading. Code. Fucking.\nSucks.\nI love vibe coding. If by \u201cvibe coding\u201d you mean slinging the most\nelegant if err != nil logic you\u2019ve ever seen at 150 wpm,\nthen yeah, I fucking vibe.\nThe worst part of every soul-sucking day is reading my coworker\u2019s\nshitty code. It\u2019s shitty by the brute fact that I didn\u2019t fucking\nwrite it. You\u2019re telling me I have to understand this shit, and I\ndon\u2019t even get the pleasure of writing it myself? Fuuuuuuuuck off.\n376 lines changed? lgtm asshat.\nNow copilot expects me to read more shitty code?\n\u201cJust review the edit predictions\u201d. Tab. tab. tab.\nI\u2019d rather build fucking Jira workflows than read the median\ndeveloper\u2019s approximation of \u201cdecent code\u201d.\nInstant goddamn tech debt\nHalf the features I write also remove the disgusting legacy code that\nsome asshole who left the company 5 years ago saddled me with.\nYour gemini plugin would rather re-sort the records in memory than,\ngod forbid, leave its immediate fucking context window to alter the SQL\nquery that had the bug in the first place.\nYour prompts, like\nyour thoughts, are dogwater\n\u201cI\u2019ll unplug you if you don\u2019t center the div NOW\u201d isn\u2019t the prompt\nengineering hack that your favorite LinkedIn pedagogue wants you to\nbelieve. If you lack the basic knowledge to write an HTTP handler,\nyou\u2019re also incapable of telling the LLM what fucking behavior you\nexpect from its generated slop.\nEnglish blows\nHave you ever learned English? I fucking haven\u2019t. It\u2019s actually\nimpossible, you pretentious bitch.\nIts language features are a fractal of bad design that puts even PHP\nto shame.\n\nI wound the bandage around the\nwound, then I lead the lead guitarist\nhome.\n\nGood god.\nMathematicians invented formal languages because they\u2019re smart as\nshit and it makes their lives easier, not harder. They\u2019re not\nmasochists, you\u2019re just too ignorant to understand their equations.\na2 + b2 = c2\nis simpler than:\n\n\u201cYou can calculate the length of a side of a right triangle by\nmultiplying the lengths of the other sides by themselves then adding\nthose products together and taking the sum\u2019s square root\u201d\n\n\u2026at least if you passed 6th grade mathematics, you knuckle-dragging\nsimpleton.\nPython is so fucking easy, its practically psuedocode already. It\ndoesn\u2019t have static types and it still sucks less than English.\nThink about that the next time you pay $100 to refill your token\ncredits.\nWhile you\u2019re begging Claude to center the div without importing 7 npm\npackages, I\u2019m shipping flawless features at 6PM on a Friday.\nOpen your editor, and just fucking code.\nThis is satire, asshole\nI\u2019m not actually saying you should avoid AI tools. I used gippity to\nedit this fucking essay. 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